Category Archives: Marriage

Fearless.

One of the things I appreciate about my husband is his boldness.  He is courageous.  He is a risk-taker.  He is fearless.  This trait shines through in his confidence.  It eases my own fears, and I suddenly feel safe beside him.

I noticed this about Kris immediately when we first began dating.  On one of our first dates, he called to ask me out for a surprise adventure.  He wouldn’t tell me where we were going.  When I inquired about what I should wear, he answered like a real man.  “A dress.  Every man likes to see a little leg.” 

Yes. He. Did. Say. That.

He flew in from Oklahoma to the Peach State.  He showed up at my door.  I kissed my sweet, five-month old baby boy goodbye, and I entered Kris Takle’s fearless world.  I ended up at my hometown airport, facing a twin piston airplane.  He opened my door, and I climbed in.  Showing a little leg, of course.  He sat in the left seat, because I clearly cannot fly an aircraft myself.  And, we, well he, took off. 

I can remember watching him push the throttle forward, pull back on the yoke, full of confidence in what he is was doing.  We landed in Hilton Head, South Carolina and went to one of my most favorite restaurants still.  I had been out with one other guy before Kris.  When I went out this “other guy”, I was so nervous that I hardly touched my food.

Anyone who knows me knows I may fear some things, but indulging in an entrée is not one of them.

But, being with Kris was different.  I sat beside him in that restaurant, his confidence making me feel at ease, and I inhaled every morsel on my plate.  I so surprised myself that I turned to him and said, “Did you eat any of my food?”

“No.  You wouldn’t let me near it,” he responded.

I knew then, well, and after he took me for a walk on the beach, that there just might be something special about him.

And, I was sure of this something special, this fearlessness that I so admired, when I watched him with John Henry.  Here was this twenty-nine year old bachelor with no experience with infants in the floor with my greatest treasure, turning a stuffed alligator into a real, live show.  And, John Henry smiled. 

Kris would encourage me to go take time to myself.  “Go for a run with your girls,” he’d say.  “John Henry and I will have fun.”

His courage to take on fatherhood the way he did still impresses me more than his boldness and skill in the cockpit.  And, after almost seven years of being together, he still eases my own fears every time he sits beside me…..and, every time I watch our children crawl into his lap.

He is fearless.  I love that about him.

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Filed under Marriage, parenting

Things I Didn’t Do At Five and Seven.

My kids were invited to tour our city’s Christmas lights in style this weekend.

When asked her favorite part of the experience, Anna said, “I loved every single thing about it!”  Then, she added, “Dad, I had Dr. Pepper, and I loved it!” 

John Henry enjoyed the ride, too.  But, he seemed to talk about the gingerbread cookies most.  We were definitely cut from the same cloth, as they say.  Whoever “they” are. 

Kris and I enjoyed a night out alone together.  He was gracious enough to take me to the mall, along with the rest of metro area, to shop for a pair of jeans.  A very fun experience in my condition, indeed.

I asked Kris, “Are you ready for me to be skinny again?”

He responsibly answered, “I’m not touching that with a ten foot pole.”

Then, he did what every good husband does for his wife.  He fed me.

Date nights with your spouse are so essential to a healthy marriage.  And, I mean date nights sans children.  Set aside time to be alone together.  You’ll be glad you did!

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Filed under Kid Stuff, Marriage

Marriage And Growing A Person.

This weekend, I used Kris’ Marriott points that he accumulates when he flies to luxurious vacation spots by working so hard for the family.  After I arranged for the kids to spend the weekend with Falon and Janet (our friends and most awesome babysitters), I surprised him with a night downtown the big OKC.  We woke up to the glorious phenomenon known as room service, and then, I sent Kris to an already scheduled massage at the spa.

Sorry, men.  I’m taken. 

I need not gloat that much in my wifely awesomeness.  I realized it had been entirely too long since I did something special for Kris.  I recognized I was becoming disgruntled with me not being the center of his attention.  With me not being catered to or lavished with some fun surprise.  I was focusing on me.  After all, I AM growing a person, right? 

In my discontentedness, I began to evaluate myself as a spouse.  Have I thought beyond myself lately to do anything out of the ordinary for Kris? 

I knew the answer. 

So, I made a choice to step outside myself, my wants, my stuff and do something all about him.  Because, I love him.  I love being married to him.  HE matters.

In serving my husband this way, my discontentment seemed to fade.  Because, I served him.  This is true in most every area of our life.  When we step outside of our stuff and serve something or somebody else, we take our eyes off of that stuff. 

And, we become content – fulfilled – again.

It’s how Jesus Christ lived His life.  He so loved us that HE gave.

It was a great time together.  He makes me laugh.  Really laugh.  When I asked him Saturday night to carry me to bed, he responded this way, despite the look of fear in his eyes:

“Uh, okay.  Just let me stretch a little first.”

Oh, I love that man.

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Filed under giving, gratitude, Love, Marriage, pregnancy

I Was On Fire!

Growing a person has been going well with the exception of the recent onset of this burning sensation in my chest better known as heartburn.

For the love.

Initially, I refused to believe that my food choices could possibly contribute to this annoying, sleepless irritation.  After all, why would I want to give up my diet of unlimited chips and queso and Junior Mints?  I mean, who does that? 

Apparently me. 

That’s right folks.  I’m on day three of eating healthy.  And, inhaling Zantac and Tums.  If I make it to the weekend choosing an apple over that dark chocolate goodness with a soft minty center, then that is nothing short of a miracle.

And, my sweet John Henry has already asked me twice, “Mom, are you hurting?”  He follows it up with, “I prayed for you.”

Seriously, could I be more blessed?  My kids are such sweet reminders that regardless of my current discomfort, I’m going to have another little person who lights up my world.

But, then?  Momma is done.  D-O-N-E.  I will work those particulars out with Mr. Takle at a later, more private setting.  No sense in frightening him right now.  Especially, since he will eventually read this.  And, I’m sure he’d prefer me not discuss such personal matters here.  If I had a dollar for every time he’s followed up a comment or situation with “Do NOT blog or Twitter this”…..Well, I’d have a lot of dollars.

Oh, the stories I could tell.

But won’t.

‘Cause I’m pretty fond of being married.

Know what I mean?

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Filed under Kid Stuff, Marriage, pregnancy

That’s Not What I Signed Up For.

Kris - Dusty

That is not a statement you’ll hear me make regarding my marriage.  You won’t hear me say, “I didn’t sign up for my husband to be gone 5 days a month or 20 days a month.”  “I didn’t sign up for my husband to play golf every week.”  “I didn’t sign up to live hundreds of miles from my family.”

I have heard friends tell me they “didn’t sign up” for whatever changes have occurred in their lives.  Whether it’s a spouse’s new job or simply a new routine. 

I signed up to be married Kris Takle.  Not what he does or doesn’t do.

I signed up for him.  Period.

In the meantime, life happens.  Change is usually inevitable.  Tomorrow may look different from today.  We, as partners in love and marriage, have to adjust.

Because, we are a team.

He needs my support just like I need his. 

Loving Kris Takle.  That’s what I signed up for.

My lover is mine, and I am his.  Song of Solomon 2:16

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Filed under Love, Marriage

Love. It’s A Battlefield.

John Henry stayed home from school yesterday to recuperate from a cold.  Note:  Guitar Hero does wonders for a six year old under the weather.  Or when you’re simply “not on top of the weather” as I’ve heard my husband say.  Pardon him.  He tends to get American clichés a little confused with….with, I don’t know what. 

Anyhoo.

I walked Anna to the library yesterday morning.  It’s her initial destination before walking to her class.  I stopped by John Henry’s class to inform his teacher he would not be in attendance.  On my way out, I heard one, lone, loud voice belting out, “Why does love always feel like a battlefield!  A battlefield!  A battlefield!” 

I don’t think it comes as a surprise to any of you it was Anna.  None of her classmates joined her anthem.  I scurried straight up to her and told her she should pipe down in the school hallways.  Then, I was relieved I corrected her “butterfield” to “battlefield” only a couple of days prior to her hallway debut.

Long before Jordin Sparks started tearing up the airwaves with her recent hit, Pat Benatar proclaimed “love is a battlefield.”  I have single girlfriends who will say “Amen” to that sentiment.  And, knowing some of their experiences, I tend to agree.  But, once you’re married?

Love can still feel like a battlefield.  It’s just a different battle.  It’s not a battle between husband and wife.  It’s a battle to maintain your marriage.  One in two marriages will end in divorce.  So, you unquestionably have to fight to keep the love alive and the commitment strong.  Even in scriptures Paul proclaims if you marry, you’ll have trouble. 

So, to my married readers, I say FIGHT for your marriage. 

Every.

Single.

Day.

So, when you’re old, gray, going to bed by 8, and excited for the new Dancing With the Stars season(or, perhaps, that’s just Big Mama), you’ll turn and look at your spouse and be glad you did.

And, for those of you thinking, “It’s too late for me”:  Never give up. 

Coming from a girl on a second go ‘round.

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Filed under Love, Marriage, Relationships

Gifts We Can Give.

I realized something kind of huge last week.

There are areas I don’t serve my husband where I should. 

It’s true.  I recognized this in myself after I sighed at his request for me to go to his office and check the mail.  Check.The.Mail.  Sounds miniscule, I know.  It just seems that with two kids in school, one on the way, and compounding lists to complete, driving twenty minutes one way is not something I want to do.  So, I sigh.  And, I run these office errands with great disdain. 

God convicted me of my attitude in running these little office errands.  He made me painfully aware that I’m not serving my husband in this way.

There are things I’m not going to want to do in my marriage.  But, if I look at those things as a gift I can give my husband, it changes my attitude.  As a matter of fact, I become excited, because I GET to give Kris this gift.

So, the next time your spouse needs something from you, and you are resistant in obliging, remember this:  it’s a gift you can give him.  Or her. 

And, that my friends, keeps the home fire a burnin’. 

Is there a gift you can give your spouse?

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Filed under giving, Marriage

Meet Sarah Markley.

Sarah Markley and I have never in “the real life.”  Cindy Beall introduced me to her blog, and then we became friends on Twitter.  Her writings always astound me.  Her ability to paint a picture with words makes me appreciate her.

And, I’ve never even met her.  Not in the real life. 

But she is a very real person.  With a very real story.  She is sharing it this week with honesty that I admire.  And, a heart that I love. 

It’s a five-part story, and I’m posting links to each below.  If you’ve ever felt that redemption was impossible, or God’s grace wasn’t enough, this will encourage you.

My New Name:  Part One

My New Name:  Part Two

My New Name:  Part Three

My New Name:  Part Four

My New Name:  Part Five

In Him we have redemption through His blood…  Colossians 1:14

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Filed under God Stuff, Marriage, Relationships

What NOT To Say To Your Pregnant Wife.

Me:  “Kris, my pants are already getting a bit snug.  Do you think it’s because I’m pregnant with my third and pushing 35?”

Kris:  “Babe, you have to realize…you were in GREAT shape when you got pregnant with John Henry and Anna.”

Me:  “Do you ever say things and wish you hadn’t have said them?”

It’s a good thing I love him.  And, walk in forgiveness.

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Filed under Marriage, Say What?

Thank you, Journey. I Couldn’t Have Said It Better Myself.

Kris and I work into our schedule a weekly date night, unless he is flying all week trying to buy momma a new pair of shoes, of course.  We love date nights.  We talk.  I laugh a lot.  He holds my hand.  And, from time to time, I discover something about him I’d never known before.  I like that. 

We don’t’ really use this time to discuss our stuff.  You know, our “issues”.  Those are usually reserved for times after we put the kids to bed in our living room.  We like for date nights to be about enjoying each other and that occasional new discovery.  Not me pointing out to Kris how I need him to do this more or that less, thus, making the date night about me and not each other.  Read me?

I feel like I know Kris pretty well.  Of course, there was this recent moment where I watched the third installment of Pirates of the Caribbean for the one-hundreth and seventy-ninth time.  After the credits rolled, my friend pointed out that Will Turner and Elizabeth Swan had a son.  How did I miss that?  How did Kris miss that?  So, I called Kris to let him in on the little secret, and he said, “I know.” 

How could he not have shared that with me?  It’s like I don’t even know him.

You see?  Always room for discovery.

Kris Takle, I get the joy of rediscovering you.   I’m forever yours, faithfully.

Now, let’s end this blog before the lines get even cornier.

What’s your idea of a perfect date night?

4 Comments

Filed under Love, Marriage