Category Archives: parenting

Confessions Made Easy.

Confession is hard.  Especially when you’re five.  But, this time, I made it easy when I found old, dried grapes in our hallway coat closet.  Yes.  Grapes. 

Me:  Who put grapes in the closet?

John Henry:  It wasn’t me!

Me:  Anna?

Anna:  It wasn’t me!

Me:  Anna, just tell me now.  Did you put grapes in the closet?

Anna:  Hmmm.  Are you gonna be mad?

Me:  No.

Anna:  Am I gonna be in trouble?

Me:  (Smiling) No.

Anna:  Okayyy.  It was me.

I didn’t even want to know why.

Sometimes, our kids just need a break.  They need, well, the unmerited favor of their mom and dad, too. 

So, she got it. 

Do you need to show a little more mercy sometimes?

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Filed under Kid Stuff, Motherhood, parenting

The Kindness of A Father.

We’ve been studying/discussing the fruit of the Spirit in my most awesome Bible Study.  Today, I think we all wept over this one:  Kindness. 

Specifically – the kindness of our Heavenly Father.  I may share more on this later.  But, one quote by Beth Moore grabbed my attention in a big way:

“We will never be successful as parents to our children until we are successful at being children to our Heavenly Father.”

Every single thing we could ever want or need from our earthly father, our Heavenly Father provides.  We want time with our father.  God says “draw near to me, and I’ll draw near to you.”  We long to be special to our father.  God tells us we are “wonderfully and fearfully made.”  We want to know our father will always be there.  God says he will “never leave you nor forsake you.” 

I could go on and on.  He loves us.  His kindness amazes me.  Even though, He may correct or reprove us, His kindness is like no other.  I want that kind of kindness. 

I want that kind of kindness when I parent my own children. 

If I want to learn to be a good mother to my children, I think I need to pay closer attention to how my Heavenly Father loves me.

How do you respond to Christ as your Father?  Do you even know Him as a Father?

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Filed under God Stuff, Motherhood, parenting

Ice Storm Turns Snow Storm Turns I’m Not Sure What.

Well, it’s not like we weren’t warned or anything.  The great Oklahoma weather people told us an ice storm was a comin’ followed by a whole bunch of snow.  Kris headed out early Thursday morning to buy a generator.  It went unneeded.   But, we were ready.  Yes. We. Were.

See?  We had all of the Winter Storm One-Oh survival essentials.

Kids had a blast.  Of course.

Brew joined in on the fun, too. 

So did Dad.

Who built a fire.

That kept me outside an extra minute and a half.

By day three, we were getting creative with our indoor activities.

And, today?  My kitchen still looks like this.

We all really enjoyed being snowed in.  However, I’ve determined three days are plenty.  Four begins to push the limits.  Or, perhaps, just the limits of a girl growing a person.  But, the occasional forcing of a family to slow down is not a bad thing.

It reminds me how much I love my family.

 I love hearing my kids play together.  I love hearing Kris tell them to stop running in the house and Anna respond, “But, can we jog?”  I love hearing John Henry say something just to make me laugh and for no other reason. 

I love it that my husband buys a generator just in case.  I love it that he builds a fire anyway.  I love it that he takes such good care of us. 

And, I know that as much as my children’s earthly father takes care of them, they serve a heavenly Father who does so much more. 

Hard to imagine really.

But, I know it to be true.

And this same God who takes care of me will supply all your needs from his glorious riches, which have been given to us in Christ Jesus.  Philippians 4:19

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Filed under God Stuff, gratitude, Kid Stuff, Love, parenting, Relationships

Careful What You Say. What You Write. What You Type.

I’m pretty sure I’ve written on this topic before.  After talking to a friend about a text message her daughter received, I felt compelled to write about it again. 

When I was around 10 or 11 years old, I sat down and wrote a letter to a girl who was a few years older than me.  It was an ugly letter.  I was upset with her for seemingly taking away my best friend.  I said things like, “You think you’re it.  You’re not.” 

The letter never reached her hands.  My parents found it first.  Thankfully.  Let’s say they were less than happy.  A lot less. 

They sat me down and read the letter to me.  I can remember my dad using the word “arrogant” to describe my character in writing that.  They addressed my spiritual life.  They addressed my character.  They addressed it all. 

You see, my parents cared about how I treated other people – regardless, of how they treated me.  And, revenge is another post I plan on sharing soon.

Fast forward to 2010.  My friend shares with me how her daughter received a very demeaning text message.  She was asked to forward that text to others.  She didn’t.  Her mother saw it first.  But so many parents today turn a blind eye to, or even worse, join in with the cruel words their children and teenagers communicate to others. 

They write ugly messages on someone else’s Myspace page or Facebook wall.  They send nasty text messages.  They leave behind them a path of destruction for that victim to walk through. 

And, it’s grossly wrong. 

We as parents must be more concerned with our children’s character and spiritual growth than we are with their talents in school or sports.  We must be aware of the words coming out of their mouths and being typed by their fingers. 

We simply must.

The girl I wrote that letter to would commit suicide a few years later. 

So thankful I didn’t leave her in my path of destruction.  And, thankful I had parents who cared about my character.

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Filed under parenting, Virtue

Christmas Festivities And Deer Hunting?

We surprised my dad by flying home to Georgia a few days early.  We made it home in time for the Eagles Way Church Christmas service and family communion.  Communion as a family is always a special time.  Especially, when you look over at your children with the overwhelming knowledge that they are participating in one of the church’s greatest sacraments.  And, especially, when your daughter takes a bite of the wafer and comments, “Ha.  It tastes like popcorn!”  

It was certainly moving.

We had a little a family picture made after the service.

Then, Kris made good on his promise to Anna to take her deer hunting for the first time. 

They returned home with great father-daughter memories.

But no game.

And, I was really okay with that.

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Filed under Kid Stuff, parenting

Fearless.

One of the things I appreciate about my husband is his boldness.  He is courageous.  He is a risk-taker.  He is fearless.  This trait shines through in his confidence.  It eases my own fears, and I suddenly feel safe beside him.

I noticed this about Kris immediately when we first began dating.  On one of our first dates, he called to ask me out for a surprise adventure.  He wouldn’t tell me where we were going.  When I inquired about what I should wear, he answered like a real man.  “A dress.  Every man likes to see a little leg.” 

Yes. He. Did. Say. That.

He flew in from Oklahoma to the Peach State.  He showed up at my door.  I kissed my sweet, five-month old baby boy goodbye, and I entered Kris Takle’s fearless world.  I ended up at my hometown airport, facing a twin piston airplane.  He opened my door, and I climbed in.  Showing a little leg, of course.  He sat in the left seat, because I clearly cannot fly an aircraft myself.  And, we, well he, took off. 

I can remember watching him push the throttle forward, pull back on the yoke, full of confidence in what he is was doing.  We landed in Hilton Head, South Carolina and went to one of my most favorite restaurants still.  I had been out with one other guy before Kris.  When I went out this “other guy”, I was so nervous that I hardly touched my food.

Anyone who knows me knows I may fear some things, but indulging in an entrée is not one of them.

But, being with Kris was different.  I sat beside him in that restaurant, his confidence making me feel at ease, and I inhaled every morsel on my plate.  I so surprised myself that I turned to him and said, “Did you eat any of my food?”

“No.  You wouldn’t let me near it,” he responded.

I knew then, well, and after he took me for a walk on the beach, that there just might be something special about him.

And, I was sure of this something special, this fearlessness that I so admired, when I watched him with John Henry.  Here was this twenty-nine year old bachelor with no experience with infants in the floor with my greatest treasure, turning a stuffed alligator into a real, live show.  And, John Henry smiled. 

Kris would encourage me to go take time to myself.  “Go for a run with your girls,” he’d say.  “John Henry and I will have fun.”

His courage to take on fatherhood the way he did still impresses me more than his boldness and skill in the cockpit.  And, after almost seven years of being together, he still eases my own fears every time he sits beside me…..and, every time I watch our children crawl into his lap.

He is fearless.  I love that about him.

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Filed under Marriage, parenting

Fathers Be Good To Your Daughters.

Anna:  “Dad, your hair is running out.”

Yet, he adores her and even serves her still.

What compares to a father’s love for his daughter?

I’m quite certain…..

 nothing.

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Filed under Kid Stuff, parenting, Relationships

Lock Up Your Sparkly Shoes.

The names have been changed to protect the innocent.  Except Anna’s.  For, she is not innocent.

So, Anna brings home a headband from school that is clearly not hers. 

Me:  “Anna, where did you get this?”

Anna:  “I found it on the ground at school.”

Me:  And who does it belong to?

Anna:  “Hmm.  It might belong to Lucy.”

I think you all know what conversation followed.   The whole taking things that don’t belong to you, etc, etc.  And, I explained to her how she would need to return said headband to Lucy with a heartfelt “I’m sorry.”

She responds…

Anna:  “Well, at least I didn’t take Susie’s new sparkly shoes she got from a garage sale.”

Lord Jesus, help me.

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Filed under Kid Stuff, parenting

Commitments.

After not getting his badge at a Camporee (that I didn’t sign us up to attend because of previous obligations), John Henry said, “I quit Cub Scouts.”

A lengthy conversation followed about commitment.  I explained to him the importance of fulfilling commitments.  He had committed his first grade year to Cub Scouts.  He needed to finish it.

I can remember when I was in the fifth grade I wanted to play an instrument in band.  That instrument?  The saxophone.  Yes, little ‘ol me on the sax.  My parents paid a pretty penny for that instrument.  In return, I had to commit to play through ninth grade.  It was a breeze to maintain my commitment until ninth grade.

When it suddenly lost every bit of the cool factor.

But Barbara Goss wasn’t going to cave and bail me out.  My momma wasn’t about to let me back out of my promise. 

(Although, it probably would have made her life much easier as a parent.)

So, with great gnashing of teeth, I finished playing that durn thing through ninth grade. 

And, while I was upset with my mother for making me finish at the time, I’m grateful for the value in her lesson. 

Finish what you start.

As for John Henry, he did earn that badge.  And, he couldn’t be prouder.

Are you instilling this virtue in your children?

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Filed under parenting, Virtue

Do You Trust Your Heart?

Anna has been talking a lot about God lately.  And, asking a whole mess of questions.  Kris somehow diverted her attention the other day by teaching her the names of the bones in our legs and arms. 

“Okay.  I don’t want to talk about bones anymore,” she told him.

Kris’ interruption of a bone discussion has nothing to do with this post or the fact that Anna has been talking Jesus.  I just found it kind of funny.

I’ve noticed Anna saying repetitively, “God trusts our heart.”

I haven’t the, well, heart, to tell her that’s not really the case. 

The old adage, “follow your heart” isn’t really good advice.  If I’m honest.

Our heart can make us do CRAZY things.  We can follow our hearts right into adultery.  Right into questionable situations.  Right into a MESS.  Can I get an amen?

Cindy Beall wrote a great post on this very topic.  She referenced this Proverbs 4:23 scripture:

Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life.

Not only should we guard our heart, we need to LEAD our heart.  My heart can tell me that I have inappropriate feelings for another man.  Do I follow that?  Or do I lead my heart based on what God says about those feelings? 

So, I try to first guard my heart against things that aren’t of God.  Then, I lead it accordingly.

I’m not exactly explaining this to Anna just yet.  For now, I’ll just nod and say, “Uh huh.”  But, I’ll certainly teach her this principle before she enters her teen years and some dingleberry guy attempts to capture her attention.

Then, I’ll remind her, “Lead your heart, Miss Takle.” 

And, it’s highly doubtful that her daddy will change the subject to bones then.

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Filed under God Stuff, Kid Stuff, life, Love, parenting