We initially assumed that John Henry was the only one with musical talent – or, at the very least, a passion for it.
Then, Anna impressed us not only with her song writing ability, but with her preference for the folk genre.
Stay tuned. Next time, they are sure to do a remake of “This Land is Your Land, This Land is My Land.”
I know. What to do with all this talent?
Filed under Kid Stuff
Remember when you were a kid playing one of those recess games, and someone would yell, “DO OVER!” And, usually he got his do-over? Life’s not always so simple. There have been many circumstances in my twenty-three thirty-three years I wish I could do over.
Like the time I told my parents I was going to see Driving Miss Daisy with friends, and I cruised up and down Taylor Street instead. My mom asked me which theater the movie was playing in….smart little booger….. “the left theater, center theater or right theater?”
“The, the, the left!” I answered.
How could I not know it was the center? After all, the movie was filmed in my hometown. Why wouldn’t it take center stage? I wish I could do that one over. It would have saved me two weeks of grounding.
I’d also like a do-over on the time I colored my hair orange, my last speeding ticket, and probably the chips and queso I ate yesterday. Oh, who am I kidding? I’d so eat the chips and queso again today.
Point is, we all have something in life we’d like to get a do-over on. For most of us, they are not things as trivial as mentioned above. We’d like a do-over on a friendship, a marriage, a job – you know what I’m talkin’ about. And, while we can’t get do-over’s on those things, we do get a do-over every day with God.
Many people think we serve a God who stands over us with a giant rock, ready to crush it on our little heads. A God whose wrath is fierce. A God who positions Himself to punish His children at a moment’s notice.
That’s not Him.
At the second we ask Him to create a clean heart in us, He does. He is a God who loves. A God who forgives. We don’t have to earn it. We don’t have to work for it. The price has already been paid. He freely gives, we freely receive.
I get a do-over every morning. I’m glad I do. I need it.
Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. Lamentations 3:22-23
John Henry: “Hey, Mom. I know how God made us.”
Me: “You do? How?”
John Henry: “Well, first He glued a bunch of bones together, and made them into a skeleton. Then, He put a costume on us.”
Me: “Very good.”
Whew.
Okay. I recognize that I accepted his interpretation of how life is created and even applauded him for it. If you go back to the creation story in Genesis, John Henry is not too far off. Right? Maybe only a little.
But it got me thinkin’.
When does the real sex talk happen? I would imagine that we drop a little 411 here and there as our kids mature, so when we sit down for the big doozy, it’s not as shocking. Kind of like when MacGyver unlocks our bedroom door and we explain to her that mommy and daddy are “talking” or “snuggling”. This rests better on the ears of a three and five year old. Of course, who knows what the pre-schoolers are talking about on the playground these days. I’d like to think the only buzz is Buzz Lightyear. For real.
Parenting. This should be fun.
Have you had “the talk” yet with your kiddos? If so, how old were they when their little minds were enlightened?
I used to be this girl. No, I never sat on top of private jets. A Buick, maybe. But never a jet. Anna has this amazing quality in that she will pretty much try anything once. She fears little. Her only fears are ones that I’ve instilled in her, specifically a fear of frogs. I understand these nasty amphibians are harmless. I just prefer not to host a party for them in my backyard.
She is courageous for two simple reasons: 1) She believes the reward is greater than the risk, and 2) She has complete trust in her mom and dad.
As a parent to a risk-taker, I have to keep my eyes on her almost constantly, lest she put herself in danger. That is the tough part. But, I also have the incredible opportunity to help her appropriately channel her willingness to jump into things that will be for her betterment. That’s the cool part.
So, where did I lose my leap before I look temperament?
There was a day I would go all in at the poker table. Skydive? Bring it on. Had money been no object at 20, I feel certain I could have begun a successful business of some sort. But, somewhere along the way I was no longer under my parents’ covering, mortality became more evident, and then I became a mother. And that changed everything.
There are certain risks that I do not take out of fear of my children being without me. Then, there are risks that I do not take because of a lack of trust.
I can say that I trust God, but sometimes, my fears prove otherwise. Why don’t I write a book? Because, maybe no one will read it. It might suck! So, what if it does? What if I completely write some crap that never leaves a bookshelf? What if a publishing company turns me down? Great. Then I have a couple hundred pages written for naught.
If Anna is teaching me one thing it is to do it anyway – even if I skin my knees or have to go the E.R. to get my head stapled. Not in a careless kind of way, but with the realization that the reward outweighs the risk. And, nothing great comes out of playing it safe.
And, once we realize that we serve a God that always goes before us. Who said that we can do all things in Him that strengthens us, then we just might accomplish some great things.
I hope I am successful in one day transferring Anna’s trust in her dad and me to the One who created her. Then, her achievements through Him will be limitless.
Is fear keeping you from doing something? What are you going to do about it?
So, I was in the kitchen the other day. No, I wasn’t whipping up one of my incredibly famous meals from scratch. My wonderfully pink Dell laptop rests on my kitchen counter, and I was all consumed. I do understand that it’s cool to go Mac, but Dell and I have had a successful relationship for many years now. He has been faithful and true – and my software works as it should on him. To toss him aside for a trendier model just seems unkind.
So, I was in the kitchen.
I hear John Henry calling from the family room, “Mom, would you come in here with me, so I know where you are?”
I saved my draft and met his request.
A couple of days later, it was pretty much the same scenario.
“Mom, would you come in here, so I can see you?”
“Yes, son.” And, so I did.
I wonder how often God calls us to come be with Him, and we are too frenzied with other things. I can assure you it happens all the time with yours truly. Don’t get me wrong. I dust off my Bible at times and read it the old-fashioned way. I do, however, like the accessibility of reading the Bible online – on my wonderfully pink Dell, no less. I’m always swift to pray for my family and others. I usually serve when there is a need.
But, I often don’t take the time to slow down – take my eyes off of the consumptions of the day – and just be with Him. No appealing. Just a little girl enjoying time with her Father – and a Father enjoying His little girl.
I think our Heavenly Father call us often. “Hey, Dusty, would you come in here with me, so I can see you?”
Gotta run.
“Coming John Henry!”
Five things you should try, buy, watch, read and enjoy this summer:
Guys, buy Men’s Health magazine. It appears to be the most comprehensive and informative magazine out there for men. Unless, of course, you are like Kris – in which case if it doesn’t have propellers or a turbine-powered engine on the front, it is useless. But, I do sneak one in the bathroom whenever possible.
“Rest is not idleness, and to lie sometimes on the grass on a summer day listening to the murmur of water, or watching the clouds float across the sky, is hardly a waste of time. “ – John Lubbock
Filed under Randomness
Last but certainly not least is the physical part of marriage. Let’s talk about sex. You can exit out of this blog now, if I’ve already made you uncomfortable. I won’t be offended. As a matter of fact, I’ll never know. But, if you can handle Song of Solomon, this is a walk in the park.
1 Corinthians 7:5 says Do not deprive each other of sexual relations, unless you both agree to refrain from sexual intimacy for a limited time so you can give yourselves more completely to prayer. Afterward, you should come together again so that Satan won’t be able to tempt you because of your lack of self-control.
I believe each couple should decide what works best for them in regards to sex – at least the how often part. I will be candid with you. I have probably turned Kris down five times in five years of marriage. This is what I have found: There are rare times that sex is kind of like exercise. I didn’t feel like doing it, but once I did, I was glad I did. But more times than not, I want to share this greatest form of intimacy with my husband. And as for the 1 Corinthians scripture that mandates us to not deprive our spouse unless we are giving ourselves to prayer? Well, Kris would rather fast food than sex. But that’s just him.
If you are a parent to young children, you know the obstacles you have to overcome to make sex happen while your children are at play. We usually tell our kids that mommy and daddy are going to talk, and then we lock the door. Our sneaky little MacGyver – you know which one I’m talkin’ about – has figured out that our car keys will unlock the door. So, what now? Hide the keys.
A big no-no in our bedroom is porn of any kind. This is probably best left for an entirely different post. But for us, we want our physical connection to be between the two of us – and no one else.
On a deeper level, physical intimacy is the unveiling of yourself to make yourself more vulnerable in a trusting and loving relationship. It creates a sense of unity. In it, you approve each other’s need to be a sexual being.
There is much more I could write on the physical part of marriage – from all of the aspects of intimacy, including obstacles to achieving it. But for the sake of time (and a really long post), I’ll leave it at that. And one thing to always remember, we cannot expect perfection in our spouse when we ourselves are imperfect.
One of the best books I’ve read on intimacy is Intimacy: A 100-Day Guide to Lasting Relationships by Douglas Weiss. If you haven’t read it, pick it up. It’s worth the read. And, it covers all three parts of marriage.
What are your thoughts? Any other book recommendations?
Filed under Love, Relationships, sex
“I get so emotional baby, every time I think of you-hoo hoo, I get so emotional baby. Ain’t it shocking what love can do.” I must confess. This old Whitney Houston tune was playing in a restaurant bathroom this past Sunday. I was in there with Anna, and I was singing it like it was nobody’s business. Had someone walked in, it could’ve been really bad. Let’s talk about the emotional part of marriage.
Merriam-Webster Online defines emotion as
a: the affective aspect of consciousness: feeling b: a state of feeling c: a conscious mental reaction (as anger or fear) subjectively experienced as strong feeling usually directed toward a specific object and typically accompanied by physiological and behavioral changes in the body
I like the “conscious” mental reaction description. Because, to avoid having to sing, “You’ve lost that loving feeling,” I believe it takes a conscious effort.
The first thing we need to reconcile is that we are never going to have another first kiss again. And, we all know, there is nothing like that first kiss. But, if we can come to terms with this, we will be much better off.
Here are ways that Kris and I keep the home fire burning. And, I’m not referencing sex….that is tomorrow’s blog.
· We make time for each other away from the children. During these precious moments, we don’t talk about finances or other “house business.” We simply enjoy each other.
· We make a conscious effort to communicate the right way. You can read this post to learn more on how we communicate.
· We avoid situations that would make us vulnerable to directing our emotions away from each other to something or someone else.
· We make ourselves accountable to one another.
· We take time daily, even if it’s just five minutes, to connect with one another. This might include praising each other, discussing our day, making the other laugh or just holding each other’s hand. Even when Kris is on a trip, we make good use of the phone.
· When he is looking hot, I tell him!
· When I’m looking hot, he better tell me! And, when he forgets, I prompt him with an, “Ahem. Notice anything nice?” And, like it or not girls, sometimes, men need prompting.
Along the lines of communication, do everything within your power to never criticize each other. Girls, if you want your husband to fight like a warrior for you and the family, then treat him like one. Every time I make a jab a Kris, I emasculate him. But, when I praise him and assure him that he is appreciated, he draws back his bow and aims precisely. This goes both ways. Our words are powerful. They speak life or death – blessing or cursing.
If you’ve ever read The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman, then you know that we all receive and give love differently. To keep the emotional part of marriage working, I think it’s important to know how your partner receives love. And, how we give love is usually how we receive it. There is no right or wrong way. It’s why we are all fearfully and wonderfully made.
That’s my two cents on the emotional part. I’m sure you can add more, and I welcome it! Tomorrow, we’ll get physical….metaphorically speaking.
Filed under Love, Relationships
A good friend of mine just celebrated her one year anniversary. She commented that she made it through what people say is the hardest year. I understand what she meant, but I would also argue that marriage should always be hard. Not in a striving, miserable kind of way. But in a way that you exert actual effort in making it what God intended.
My dad once told me that three parts make up a marriage. He said that marriage should be one-thirds spiritual, one-thirds emotional, and one-thirds physical. In this little blog series, I’d like to share my views on the three, how they affect my marriage, where Kris and I get it right, and where we sometimes fall short. “Fall short” is for you Uncle Ken.
Now, I do not claim to be an expert on the topic. This is my second marriage, after all. And, you might be reading this thinking, “I think marriage is four parts” or “I think marriage is this” or “I think marriage is that.” Well, you might be right. Share your thoughts with me, and maybe and we’ll both learn something new.
Today, I’m going to open up the dialogue with the spiritual part of marriage.
I believe when this part is done right, two individual people can come together in an extraordinary relationship. When Kris and I first married, he didn’t feel he was a “spiritual” person since, in his mind, his spirituality was based on knowledge of the Bible. As I began to share with him that his heart for other people, his simple acts of kindness, and the way he loved John Henry and I made him as spiritual as one can get, his understanding of it changed.
Kris and I don’t daily sit down and read God’s Word together. So, perhaps, we fall short here. But when I read a scripture that really grabs a hold of my heart, he is the first person I share it with. When we pray together, it is always me praying out loud. And, regardless of your thoughts on this, I am okay with it. I’ll never forget in our first year of marriage we were lying in bed, and I wasn’t feeling well. I leaned over and asked him to pray for me. He said, “Okay.” But after about 3 minutes of silence, I reacted, “Kris, pray for me!”
“I am! You just interrupted me!” He responded.
I couldn’t help but chuckle then, and I still get a kick out of that story today. While, I am comfortable praying aloud, Kris would rather not. However, he always prays aloud for our children. And, that’s what matters most to me.
But, I know he prays. He will often tell me what God is showing him about our family, about our business, and about our children. And, I can’t tell you the number of times that we both came together and shared something we felt God was showing us to do, and it was the same thing. That’s when the relationship becomes extraordinary – at least to me.
I respect Kris as the spiritual leader of our home. And, he respects what God shows me. And, while marriage offers the best place for raising children and offering companionship, it also offers the opportunity to learn valuable spiritual lessons of love, compassion, and commitment. It provides a place to live as Christ-followers. It is where God is considered in every decision. It is where as individuals, we live as God has called us to live – and when we come together, God is glorified.
Filed under Love, Relationships, Spiritual Journey
You know those people who are just plain difficult to buy gifts for? I’m married to one of them. It’s not because he’s fastidious or difficult to please. It’s just that he is always content with what he has. I’ll address the issue of contentment momentarily.
So, after racking my brain on the perfect Father’s Day gift for my easily satisfied husband, I had an epiphany. Well, not really an epiphany – but a grand idea, nonetheless. I acquired this photo of my super sexy husband landing in Las Vegas:
and, had it framed, at Hobby Lobby no less. I must say, that I was pleasantly surprised at how efficient and economical Hobby Lobby was on framing the photograph. I didn’t break the bank, so everyone was happy.
You may be wondering, who in the heck took this incredibly amazing photo of my super sexy husband touching down in sin city? If you visit www.airliners.net, you’ll see a whole host of photographs that some aviation photographer junkies post. And, we found this one. It’s entirely cool.
Now, just when I thought I had the most impressive of gifts, John Henry shows up with this gift for Kris:
How did John Henry know that Kris would love a rock with hair? It’s like he completely read his mind.
Of course, we all treasure the little gifts our children make us. But Kris couldn’t have been more pleased with this piece of earth accessorized by colorful threads. It’s the kind of stuff he digs.
I think we all too often become consumed with stuff. We don’t have enough. We have too much. We constantly want more. Sometimes, it’s nice to just sit back and be happy with what I already have – both materially and otherwise. Why do some of us struggle with a soft word like contentment? Even when God has blessed us with more than we need? I will not argue that I like nice things nor do I see wrong in having them – and having much. But I think there is truth in that money and possessions can complicate life at times. Not only do I live in a home, I live in a nice home. The United Nations reported that there are 100 million people in the world who are homeless. I drive a dependable car. I never miss a meal. How can I not be content?
My prayer for today is that I learn to always be content with what God has already given me. That I don’t trust in my stuff, but in the One who provides it. I want to be able say as in Philippians 4:11, Not that I was ever in need, for I have learned to be content with whatever I have.
What helps you when you are struggling with contentment?
Filed under gratitude
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