Tag Archives: Marriage

November 12, 2009 · 6:00 am

I Was On Fire!

Growing a person has been going well with the exception of the recent onset of this burning sensation in my chest better known as heartburn.

For the love.

Initially, I refused to believe that my food choices could possibly contribute to this annoying, sleepless irritation.  After all, why would I want to give up my diet of unlimited chips and queso and Junior Mints?  I mean, who does that? 

Apparently me. 

That’s right folks.  I’m on day three of eating healthy.  And, inhaling Zantac and Tums.  If I make it to the weekend choosing an apple over that dark chocolate goodness with a soft minty center, then that is nothing short of a miracle.

And, my sweet John Henry has already asked me twice, “Mom, are you hurting?”  He follows it up with, “I prayed for you.”

Seriously, could I be more blessed?  My kids are such sweet reminders that regardless of my current discomfort, I’m going to have another little person who lights up my world.

But, then?  Momma is done.  D-O-N-E.  I will work those particulars out with Mr. Takle at a later, more private setting.  No sense in frightening him right now.  Especially, since he will eventually read this.  And, I’m sure he’d prefer me not discuss such personal matters here.  If I had a dollar for every time he’s followed up a comment or situation with “Do NOT blog or Twitter this”…..Well, I’d have a lot of dollars.

Oh, the stories I could tell.

But won’t.

‘Cause I’m pretty fond of being married.

Know what I mean?

3 Comments

Filed under Kid Stuff, Marriage, pregnancy

Tagged as , , , , ,

September 17, 2009 · 6:00 am

That’s Not What I Signed Up For.

Kris - Dusty

That is not a statement you’ll hear me make regarding my marriage.  You won’t hear me say, “I didn’t sign up for my husband to be gone 5 days a month or 20 days a month.”  “I didn’t sign up for my husband to play golf every week.”  “I didn’t sign up to live hundreds of miles from my family.”

I have heard friends tell me they “didn’t sign up” for whatever changes have occurred in their lives.  Whether it’s a spouse’s new job or simply a new routine. 

I signed up to be married Kris Takle.  Not what he does or doesn’t do.

I signed up for him.  Period.

In the meantime, life happens.  Change is usually inevitable.  Tomorrow may look different from today.  We, as partners in love and marriage, have to adjust.

Because, we are a team.

He needs my support just like I need his. 

Loving Kris Takle.  That’s what I signed up for.

My lover is mine, and I am his.  Song of Solomon 2:16

10 Comments

Filed under Love, Marriage

Tagged as , ,

September 9, 2009 · 6:00 am

Love. It’s A Battlefield.

John Henry stayed home from school yesterday to recuperate from a cold.  Note:  Guitar Hero does wonders for a six year old under the weather.  Or when you’re simply “not on top of the weather” as I’ve heard my husband say.  Pardon him.  He tends to get American clichés a little confused with….with, I don’t know what. 

Anyhoo.

I walked Anna to the library yesterday morning.  It’s her initial destination before walking to her class.  I stopped by John Henry’s class to inform his teacher he would not be in attendance.  On my way out, I heard one, lone, loud voice belting out, “Why does love always feel like a battlefield!  A battlefield!  A battlefield!” 

I don’t think it comes as a surprise to any of you it was Anna.  None of her classmates joined her anthem.  I scurried straight up to her and told her she should pipe down in the school hallways.  Then, I was relieved I corrected her “butterfield” to “battlefield” only a couple of days prior to her hallway debut.

Long before Jordin Sparks started tearing up the airwaves with her recent hit, Pat Benatar proclaimed “love is a battlefield.”  I have single girlfriends who will say “Amen” to that sentiment.  And, knowing some of their experiences, I tend to agree.  But, once you’re married?

Love can still feel like a battlefield.  It’s just a different battle.  It’s not a battle between husband and wife.  It’s a battle to maintain your marriage.  One in two marriages will end in divorce.  So, you unquestionably have to fight to keep the love alive and the commitment strong.  Even in scriptures Paul proclaims if you marry, you’ll have trouble. 

So, to my married readers, I say FIGHT for your marriage. 

Every.

Single.

Day.

So, when you’re old, gray, going to bed by 8, and excited for the new Dancing With the Stars season(or, perhaps, that’s just Big Mama), you’ll turn and look at your spouse and be glad you did.

And, for those of you thinking, “It’s too late for me”:  Never give up. 

Coming from a girl on a second go ‘round.

9 Comments

Filed under Love, Marriage, Relationships

Tagged as , , , ,

September 1, 2009 · 6:00 am

Gifts We Can Give.

I realized something kind of huge last week.

There are areas I don’t serve my husband where I should. 

It’s true.  I recognized this in myself after I sighed at his request for me to go to his office and check the mail.  Check.The.Mail.  Sounds miniscule, I know.  It just seems that with two kids in school, one on the way, and compounding lists to complete, driving twenty minutes one way is not something I want to do.  So, I sigh.  And, I run these office errands with great disdain. 

God convicted me of my attitude in running these little office errands.  He made me painfully aware that I’m not serving my husband in this way.

There are things I’m not going to want to do in my marriage.  But, if I look at those things as a gift I can give my husband, it changes my attitude.  As a matter of fact, I become excited, because I GET to give Kris this gift.

So, the next time your spouse needs something from you, and you are resistant in obliging, remember this:  it’s a gift you can give him.  Or her. 

And, that my friends, keeps the home fire a burnin’. 

Is there a gift you can give your spouse?

3 Comments

Filed under giving, Marriage

Tagged as , , ,

August 28, 2009 · 7:21 am

Meet Sarah Markley.

Sarah Markley and I have never in “the real life.”  Cindy Beall introduced me to her blog, and then we became friends on Twitter.  Her writings always astound me.  Her ability to paint a picture with words makes me appreciate her.

And, I’ve never even met her.  Not in the real life. 

But she is a very real person.  With a very real story.  She is sharing it this week with honesty that I admire.  And, a heart that I love. 

It’s a five-part story, and I’m posting links to each below.  If you’ve ever felt that redemption was impossible, or God’s grace wasn’t enough, this will encourage you.

My New Name:  Part One

My New Name:  Part Two

My New Name:  Part Three

My New Name:  Part Four

My New Name:  Part Five

In Him we have redemption through His blood…  Colossians 1:14

2 Comments

Filed under God Stuff, Marriage, Relationships

Tagged as , , ,

July 23, 2009 · 6:00 am

What NOT To Say To Your Pregnant Wife.

Me:  “Kris, my pants are already getting a bit snug.  Do you think it’s because I’m pregnant with my third and pushing 35?”

Kris:  “Babe, you have to realize…you were in GREAT shape when you got pregnant with John Henry and Anna.”

Me:  “Do you ever say things and wish you hadn’t have said them?”

It’s a good thing I love him.  And, walk in forgiveness.

6 Comments

Filed under Marriage, Say What?

Tagged as ,

July 15, 2009 · 6:00 am

Thank you, Journey. I Couldn’t Have Said It Better Myself.

Kris and I work into our schedule a weekly date night, unless he is flying all week trying to buy momma a new pair of shoes, of course.  We love date nights.  We talk.  I laugh a lot.  He holds my hand.  And, from time to time, I discover something about him I’d never known before.  I like that. 

We don’t’ really use this time to discuss our stuff.  You know, our “issues”.  Those are usually reserved for times after we put the kids to bed in our living room.  We like for date nights to be about enjoying each other and that occasional new discovery.  Not me pointing out to Kris how I need him to do this more or that less, thus, making the date night about me and not each other.  Read me?

I feel like I know Kris pretty well.  Of course, there was this recent moment where I watched the third installment of Pirates of the Caribbean for the one-hundreth and seventy-ninth time.  After the credits rolled, my friend pointed out that Will Turner and Elizabeth Swan had a son.  How did I miss that?  How did Kris miss that?  So, I called Kris to let him in on the little secret, and he said, “I know.” 

How could he not have shared that with me?  It’s like I don’t even know him.

You see?  Always room for discovery.

Kris Takle, I get the joy of rediscovering you.   I’m forever yours, faithfully.

Now, let’s end this blog before the lines get even cornier.

What’s your idea of a perfect date night?

4 Comments

Filed under Love, Marriage

Tagged as , ,

June 29, 2009 · 6:00 am

Before You Pick Your Mate…

My very good friend (and a super cool pastor at EWC), Will Doss, asked a very good question last night.

He said, “What is one trait you would tell your son or daughter to look for in a spouse?”

I answered with a broad “someone with a heart after God.”  I just tend to believe that when we have a heart after Christ, everything else follows as it is supposed to. 

My dad condensed it to “someone who is both faithful and loyal.”  In other words, someone who does exactly what he or she says he or she is going to do.

Each of us individually should bring glory to Christ.  I think a good question to answer when entering into a marriage is “Will we bring more glory to Christ together than we will apart?”

What would you (or did you) tell your son or daughter?  What is one trait you would encourage someone to look for in a spouse?

13 Comments

Filed under Marriage, parenting

Tagged as , ,

May 22, 2009 · 6:00 am

He Said, She Said (Part Two)

I asked Kris if he would like to contribute any material to today’s post, and he informed me that one a week was his limit.  A man’s gotta have his limits. 

We’re talkin’ about what makes marriage a little sweeter – more like what makes it work.  Well.  Here are some things that I do (or don’t do.)

– I make an effort to never say, “You never….”  Nothing good can come from that approach.  When I have an issue, I am usually conscious to never address it as an attack.  ‘Cause sistas, let me tell you.  Your man doesn’t like to be made to feel that he needs to defend himself.  For real.

– I give Kris a few minutes to unwind when he comes home before bombarding him with Anna’s antics household issues.

– I say I’m sorry when I mess up.  And, when I say it, I usually include a “Babe, I was completely wrong.”  Why?  Because, that’s why I like to hear from him.

– I let some things go. 

– I tell him “thank you” often.

– I tell Kris how proud I am of him, and I reassure him of my faith in him.  For example, I might tell him what an awesome pilot he is.  Or I might tell him how I know he can accomplish anything in aviation.  Or, I just might tell him what an incredible dad he is.  Words of affirmation go long way.  A very long way.  I try to affirm him, in some way, every single day.

– I don’t use the “I’ve got a headache” excuse.  Want me to keep it real?  Just do it, m’kay?

I’m sure I could go on.  We have bumps in the road just like every other couple.  There are days that I put Kris on the defensive and have to go back and set it straight…..humbly.  But the days where we get it right?  Oh, life is good.  Really good.

Ladies?  Your thoughts?

10 Comments

Filed under Love, Marriage

Tagged as ,

May 21, 2009 · 6:00 am

He Said, She Said (Part One)

I’m no expert on marriage.  I mean.  You know what they say, “You only get married twice.”  Tee-hee.  No tee-hee?  None.The.Less.   Kris and I have found a few things that make our marriage pur-tee nice.  I asked Kris to help me out with this post.  So, below are his little nuggets of wisdom.

Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you my favorite pilot (and my forever love), Kris Takle.

Kris says:

– Never drink your pregnant wife’s last caffeine free coke.  (*Note: Dusty is not pregnant.)

– Set goals for your marriage – for your family. 

– Whenever you feel yourself getting upset, try to see things from your partner’s perspective.  If that doesn’t work, count to ten.

– Even if you come home tired from work, it is important to still help out around the house.  Take care of your wife and the things that are important to her.

– Listen to your wife, and don’t try to fix her.

– When your wife asks you to pray for her, make sure she can hear you.  Made this mistake once.

– Hug your wife tightly every single day.  When I’m home, I hug Dusty every morning and every afternoon. 

Oh my word, y’all.  My husband cracks me up.  When I asked him if he had anything else to add, this is what he said:  “You know, I want to keep it short and sweet.  In case I get another guest spot.”

I love him.

I’ll share my little nuggets tomorrow. 

Okay, men.  Do you want to add to this list?

7 Comments

Filed under Love, Marriage

Tagged as ,