Tag Archives: Marriage

November 9, 2010 · 9:27 am

I’m A New Wife! Again!

I’ve never really considered myself the nagging wife. 

Until, I recently realized I had become a nagging wife.

What?  Me?  Yes!  Me!

I’m married to a pilot man.  You know this.  I started noticing that when he was out and about burning holes in the skies, I missed him.  I didn’t miss what he does for me while he’s here.  Just the person, Kris Takle.  My husband.  A sweet kind of miss.  The kind where you send the sweetest text messages and say the sweetest things on the phone. 

Well, this doesn’t sound like nagging.  Of course, it doesn’t. 

Enter nagging.

Pilot man comes home.  I forget how much I missed him and focus on his flight bag on our bedroom floor.  Unpacked.  Then, I notice how we need to spruce up our landscaping.  And, I notice that he doesn’t notice this.  And, his laptop on my kitchen counter?  Really? 

Pick.  Pick.  Pick. 

I fail to notice a husband who tells me how beautiful I am.  I fail to notice a man who desires me, encourages me, and builds me up.

Why?  Because, I’m so focused on what he’s not doing, I am blurring everything good out.

I recognize this in myself.  I hate this in myself.  I hate that I am doing this to the man I love.  To the man who loves me.  So, I tell him.  We talk it out.  And, make a commitment to stop.

Stop the nagging.  Stop the complaining.  Stop noticing what he doesn’t do or see.

So, what if it takes me an extra twenty minutes a day to clean up a little more after him?  What’s twenty minutes?  Or, what if I just resolve that his laptop on the kitchen counter is okay?  And, his unpacked bag can wait? 

What if?

My marriage will be better, because, I’m not selling out to small foxes.  And, that sweet miss for him when he is gone will be even sweeter when he returns home. 

I will be happier.  He will be happier.  And, our love will stay sweeter. 

I’m not exactly sure how this pattern of behavior began for me.  But, I am definitely sure that it needed to end.  Because, I am blessed.  And, I LOVE that man.

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November 5, 2010 · 5:00 am

Ride the Wave.

Annnddd, my favorite pic of the week….

“Eh…I’m pretty much awesomer than Superman.”

And, he is.  No doubt.

A big thank ya to Aunt Brenda for taking this pic at the soccer field. 

In the disappointment newsroom, I asked my sweet husband yesterday if he read my blog post.  His response:

“I think you lost your coat this morning.”

I found it.  Quickly.  Okay, I found it an hour or so later.  I was a much happier momma once I put it back on.  Perhaps a better caption for the above photo is:

Jett:  “So, women lose their coats a lot?”

Dad:  “Yeah, they do son.  You just gotta ride the wave.”

Have a great weekend, y’all.

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August 16, 2010 · 6:00 am

Seven!

Seven of the Gazillion Reasons Kris Takle Is Fun to Love

ONE – He always tells me when he falls, almost falls, or bumps his head, because he knows I’ll laugh until I cry. 

TWO – He encourages me.  He makes me feel like a good writer, a good mother, a good wife, a good friend.  And his encouragement makes me want to be better at those things.

THREE – He responds with a “What can I do to make this better?” whenever I share something that is bothering me.  He is quite the great responder guy.

FOUR – He is a fierce protector.  Don’t mess with me yo, ‘cuz my man will break you.  (I don’t watch Jersey Shore, although this one just made me sound like I do.)

FIVE – His Taklisms are priceless.  Here are a few:

                Take the world by the horns.
                I’m as happy as a kite.  (He defends this one by asking if I’ve ever seen a 
                   sad kite.)
                I haven’t been feeling on top of the weather, (as opposed to being under
                  the weather.)

Y’all have no idea how I could on and on with these.  NO.  IDEA.

SIX – Whenever he plays with our children, he is louder than they are.  He makes this house fun.  Of course, my quick humor makes it pretty dang fun, too.  Just thought I’d prop myself up on that one.  Because FUN is my middle name. 

It’s not really.  Dusty Fun would have sounded odd.

SEVEN  – He never flies a trip where he doesn’t send me a text message that looks like this: 

I miss you 😦

I miss YOU, Kris Takle.  I wish you were here to celebrate with me, but you are out providing for our family, ‘cause momma’s gotta eat. 

You bless me daily.  And, I love you even more today than I did seven years ago. 

Happy Anniversary.  My world is sweeter because of you.

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August 10, 2010 · 5:00 am

Really. Does This Post Warrant A Title?

Whenever I wake up and say, “Today is the day I begin to lose the rest of my baby weight,” I am certain to grab two handfuls of M&M’s right before bedtime.  And, I probably forgot about my proclamation by lunch time, too.  It’s not even that I struggle with the temptation of certain foods.  I JUST SIMPLY FORGET. 

I blame the fact that I am busier than ever.  Or, I blame Kris.  Because, surely, it is his fault for not taking responsibility for my lack of motivation or forgetfulness.  

And, I’m behind on my television viewing, AND my toes and hair are clearly in need of ministry.  It’s for these reasons I am aware that I need to re-prioritize my life.  I felt especially beautiful when my husband saw me yesterday, post shower, wearing my tennis shoes with my bath wrap.  I don’t know.  Tennis shoes just felt like the first natural step in the getting dressed process.  So, imagine my confusion when Kris inquired, “Would you like for me to take a picture of you?” 

I’m sure Kris’ exposure to my wrap/tennis shoes pairing only made his odd day odder.  He had just returned from a tiny, little town who apparently sells the cheapest cattle feed this side of the….I don’t know what this side of.  His feed wasn’t ready when he arrived, so the store owner suggested he go get himself “the finest breakfast in town.” 

Kris’ recap of his breakfast:  “There were no biscuits.  There wasn’t anything really.  No tables or chairs.  Only a piece of sausage and bacon served on a paper towel.  Then, there was the guy in the corner staring at me with one eye, while his other eye looked in the opposite direction.”

The store owner asked him how his breakfast was.  Kris commented on the absence of tables and chairs.  “Oh, that’s so they don’t have to get inspected.”

I do not lie.  And, neither does Kris. 

I encouraged Kris that, at least, he was able to skip out on the carbohydrates.  And, at least, I didn’t have on knee socks with my tennis shoes. 

You see?  There is always a bright side.

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February 16, 2010 · 6:12 am

When Nagging Doesn’t Work…And, It Never Does.

Yesterday, my good friend, Cindy Beall, posted “Shut Up And Pray” revealing the power of praying for your spouse…..versus the not so easily received nagging by your spouse.  It was good stuff.

There are times when issues need to be discussed.  And, a long time ago, I posted “Conversations That Work,” a few lessons I’ve learned in how to communicate with my spouse. 

But, not all issues really need to be confronted.  Because, sometimes, those issues are our issues….not theirs.  So, when we address “our stuff” with our spouse, it will usually come out in the form of nagging.  I don’t always zip it, lock it, and put it in my pocket like I should.  But, I really try. 

One evening, a couple of weeks ago, I was just frustrated with Kris.  (He doesn’t even know it….except, now he does, IF HE READS MY BLOG TODAY.  Not bitter.)  I made the very difficult decision of not saying a word.  I went to bed….

AND, I PRAYED FOR HIM.

I didn’t even pray, “Lord, show him he needs to do this or that.”  Instead, I prayed blessings over his life.  I prayed that God would bless him in everything he does and touches.  That He would give him peace wherever there is no peace.  That any stress in his life that wasn’t from God, He would gently remove from his life.

Blessings.  That’s what I prayed.

The next morning, I woke up to a different man.  Or, perhaps, I woke up to a different me?  I had a brand new perspective and an even greater love for Kris. 

Our words are powerful.  Our prayers make a difference in BOTH of our lives. 

Bless your husband by praying for him.  It works much better than nagging.  I promise.

She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life.  Proverbs 31:12

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January 20, 2010 · 6:00 am

Kris Takle’s Fab Five.

As a follow up to yesterday’s post on a produce department breakdown, I asked Kris to give advice to any men out there living with a pregnant wife – or hormonal woman.  Pretty much any man living with a chica.  So, without further ado, I give you my favorite pilot.

1)  Always tell your wife she looks beautiful.

2)  If your wife asks you “Do I look big?” NEVER answer yes.  The answer is ALWAYS no.

3)  If you have other children, it is wise to create time away from them so she can maintain her sanity and they can maintain their lives.

4)  Don’t tell her what she can and cannot eat.  Ever.

5)  Her emotions are like waves.  Some are big.  Some are small.  But, you gotta ride ‘em all.

There ya go, men.  Number five was pretty clever, Mr. Takle.  I’d also like to add that the Little Debbie Valentine box tucked away in the refrigerator is solely for the wife. 

That is all.

What would you add?

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December 17, 2009 · 6:00 am

I’m Hoping There Were No Other Bridesmaid Dresses Available.

Thirty-seven years ago today, my parents said I do……

And, subsequently, forced their wedding party to wear large bow ties and red dresses with white lace that only the Amish could love.  We’ll just let the awesome, red veil accessories speak for themselves. 

Thirty-seven years is a very long time, especially by today’s standards.  Of course, I don’t know every detail of their marriage.  But, I do know it has not been without struggle.  Nor, has it been without a relentless commitment to working through it all. 

Even years into their journey, they saw things in their marriage that needed to be changed.  And, they did what they had to do to not just fix it – but make it brand new.

I love their unyielding commitment to Christ.

To each other.

To us.

To the body of Christ.

And, I especially love the fact that they still never say goodbye to one another on a simple phone call without first saying, “I love you.”

I love those two. 

Happy Anniversary Mom and Dad.

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December 16, 2009 · 6:00 am

Fearless.

One of the things I appreciate about my husband is his boldness.  He is courageous.  He is a risk-taker.  He is fearless.  This trait shines through in his confidence.  It eases my own fears, and I suddenly feel safe beside him.

I noticed this about Kris immediately when we first began dating.  On one of our first dates, he called to ask me out for a surprise adventure.  He wouldn’t tell me where we were going.  When I inquired about what I should wear, he answered like a real man.  “A dress.  Every man likes to see a little leg.” 

Yes. He. Did. Say. That.

He flew in from Oklahoma to the Peach State.  He showed up at my door.  I kissed my sweet, five-month old baby boy goodbye, and I entered Kris Takle’s fearless world.  I ended up at my hometown airport, facing a twin piston airplane.  He opened my door, and I climbed in.  Showing a little leg, of course.  He sat in the left seat, because I clearly cannot fly an aircraft myself.  And, we, well he, took off. 

I can remember watching him push the throttle forward, pull back on the yoke, full of confidence in what he is was doing.  We landed in Hilton Head, South Carolina and went to one of my most favorite restaurants still.  I had been out with one other guy before Kris.  When I went out this “other guy”, I was so nervous that I hardly touched my food.

Anyone who knows me knows I may fear some things, but indulging in an entrée is not one of them.

But, being with Kris was different.  I sat beside him in that restaurant, his confidence making me feel at ease, and I inhaled every morsel on my plate.  I so surprised myself that I turned to him and said, “Did you eat any of my food?”

“No.  You wouldn’t let me near it,” he responded.

I knew then, well, and after he took me for a walk on the beach, that there just might be something special about him.

And, I was sure of this something special, this fearlessness that I so admired, when I watched him with John Henry.  Here was this twenty-nine year old bachelor with no experience with infants in the floor with my greatest treasure, turning a stuffed alligator into a real, live show.  And, John Henry smiled. 

Kris would encourage me to go take time to myself.  “Go for a run with your girls,” he’d say.  “John Henry and I will have fun.”

His courage to take on fatherhood the way he did still impresses me more than his boldness and skill in the cockpit.  And, after almost seven years of being together, he still eases my own fears every time he sits beside me…..and, every time I watch our children crawl into his lap.

He is fearless.  I love that about him.

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December 14, 2009 · 6:00 am

Things I Didn’t Do At Five and Seven.

My kids were invited to tour our city’s Christmas lights in style this weekend.

When asked her favorite part of the experience, Anna said, “I loved every single thing about it!”  Then, she added, “Dad, I had Dr. Pepper, and I loved it!” 

John Henry enjoyed the ride, too.  But, he seemed to talk about the gingerbread cookies most.  We were definitely cut from the same cloth, as they say.  Whoever “they” are. 

Kris and I enjoyed a night out alone together.  He was gracious enough to take me to the mall, along with the rest of metro area, to shop for a pair of jeans.  A very fun experience in my condition, indeed.

I asked Kris, “Are you ready for me to be skinny again?”

He responsibly answered, “I’m not touching that with a ten foot pole.”

Then, he did what every good husband does for his wife.  He fed me.

Date nights with your spouse are so essential to a healthy marriage.  And, I mean date nights sans children.  Set aside time to be alone together.  You’ll be glad you did!

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November 16, 2009 · 6:00 am

Marriage And Growing A Person.

This weekend, I used Kris’ Marriott points that he accumulates when he flies to luxurious vacation spots by working so hard for the family.  After I arranged for the kids to spend the weekend with Falon and Janet (our friends and most awesome babysitters), I surprised him with a night downtown the big OKC.  We woke up to the glorious phenomenon known as room service, and then, I sent Kris to an already scheduled massage at the spa.

Sorry, men.  I’m taken. 

I need not gloat that much in my wifely awesomeness.  I realized it had been entirely too long since I did something special for Kris.  I recognized I was becoming disgruntled with me not being the center of his attention.  With me not being catered to or lavished with some fun surprise.  I was focusing on me.  After all, I AM growing a person, right? 

In my discontentedness, I began to evaluate myself as a spouse.  Have I thought beyond myself lately to do anything out of the ordinary for Kris? 

I knew the answer. 

So, I made a choice to step outside myself, my wants, my stuff and do something all about him.  Because, I love him.  I love being married to him.  HE matters.

In serving my husband this way, my discontentment seemed to fade.  Because, I served him.  This is true in most every area of our life.  When we step outside of our stuff and serve something or somebody else, we take our eyes off of that stuff. 

And, we become content – fulfilled – again.

It’s how Jesus Christ lived His life.  He so loved us that HE gave.

It was a great time together.  He makes me laugh.  Really laugh.  When I asked him Saturday night to carry me to bed, he responded this way, despite the look of fear in his eyes:

“Uh, okay.  Just let me stretch a little first.”

Oh, I love that man.

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