Category Archives: life

July 24, 2009 · 6:00 am

That’s Not Fair!

There is no book or instruction manual that tells you how to handle every parenting quandary. My lack of wisdom in dealing with various situations became even more evident last night. I allowed John Henry and Anna to pick ONE movie to watch in their room together. Of course, they picked two different movies. And, of course, I thought out loud, “Hmmm. How can we handle this?” John Henry suggested they pick a number between one and ten.

Perfect.

They did. He won. She wailed.

It wasn’t very fair for Anna even if she would get her pick next time. I could have told her the first shall be last, and the last shall be first, but I felt certain that wouldn’t have sped her recovery. It was a hard lesson in life for a four year old. A lesson we all learn if we live long enough.

Life is not fair.

It’s not fair that I’m only 5’3”. It’s not fair that I have a digestive disease.

It’s not fair that my very good friend, Josh, died at 27. It’s not fair that there are children in India begging for food. It’s not fair that a five year old little girl has a brain tumor.

So many things in life aren’t fair.

But, if God was fair, we would all die and pay a price for our sins. One of my favorite Cindy Beall lines on “God isn’t fair” is: “I’m glad He’s not. I need His mercy.” The promise of eternal life isn’t about God being fair. It’s about His incomprehensible love and mercy.

Life may seem unfair sometimes. But, God is full of mercy. He IS mercy. He IS just. And, He is faithful to make all things work together for the good.

This, I know well.

As for Anna….well, her tender, sweet big brother parted her tears, and said, “Anna, we can watch your movie.”

Was that fair for John Henry? Well, maybe he does have a grasp on the first shall be last truth. Or, just maybe, he was being merciful to his little sister.

Either way, I am so humbled to be that young man’s mother.

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Filed under God Stuff, life, Motherhood, parenting

Tagged as fair, fairness, just, Love, mercy, parenting

July 9, 2009 · 6:00 am

Thankyousokindly, John Henry.

JH - self photog

Photograph taken by. Yep. John Henry.

I don’t allow my children to say “Shut up.” Naturally. However, I say “Shut up” when I’m surprised. You know, like when someone says, “I just won a $10 million lottery,” and I respond “Shut. Up!” Yeah, that “Shut up.”

So, John Henry overheard a conversation much like the one above a couple of days ago….except, no one won a lottery else he would have chartered a jet plane to Bahamas and taken me. I’m sure of it.

The conversation concluded:

Me: “Shut. Up!”

John Henry: “Mom, careful with your words.”

Ouch.

A reminder that:

1) I need to model for my children what I’m trying to teach them.

And.

2) I need to always be careful with my words.

Always.

Our words shape our world.

Truly.

They really do.

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Filed under life, Motherhood, parenting

Tagged as modeling, parenting, words

July 7, 2009 · 6:59 am

No Shiny Star Here.

Do everything without complaining or arguing, so that you may become blameless and pure, children of God without fault in a crooked and depraved generation, in which you shine like stars in the universe… Philippians 2:14-15

Do everything without complaining? EVERYTHING???

Pretty sure I’m not shinin’ like a star in the universe every day.

You?

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Filed under life, Spiritual Journey

July 6, 2009 · 7:45 am

The Night the Lights Went Out In Georgia.

I’m a little late getting started this morning. Our power went out last night for a better part of the evening, and well, you can’t exactly go to bed when it’s so dark can you? That would just be odd. So, I stayed up in the family room with, well, my family. And, I’m not sure why I keep using, well, “well.” I’ll stop it now.

When the electricity goes out, there are no distractions. Ever notice that? Of course, the tree falling into my parents’ backyard crushing a part of their fence caused a slight commotion, but there was no blaring of a television or surfing of a browser that turned our heads from one another.

Instead, we took turns trying to remember as many Reba McIntyre songs as we could. That game appropriately started with none other than “The Night the Lights Went Out In Georgia.” Oh, and me belting it out like the red-headed diva herself, all sans the red head and ultra skinny waste. And, great vocals. Perhaps, it was my vocals that led to John Henry insisting on playing some 38 Special. That and the fact that he’s never heard any Reba. How did my parenting go so wrong?

Before we mustered up the courage to go to bed in the dark, we sat around and talked about our friend, Phil. Phil stood in the presence of His Creator, the object of his affection, only a few days ago. We talked about how there was no age discrimination in the lives he touched. He touched the old, the young, and the really, really young. I watched a 16 year old girl with uncontrolled tears covering her beautiful, young face, because one 63 year old man touched her life.

Phil Purser didn’t pastor a large church. He wasn’t a missionary to some foreign land. But, he was a pastor and missionary wherever he was to whomever he was with. And, he was the greatest encourager I have ever known.

May we power off more often, so our heads do not turn from one another. And, may we all grow up to be a Phil Purser.

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Filed under life, making an impact

Tagged as family time, Phil Purser, power outages

July 1, 2009 · 6:00 am

Yes Girl.

We watched Jim Carrey’s “Yes Man” last night. Carrey plays this character who pretty much says no to every request until he goes to some insane “Yes” rally where he learns to say yes to everything. He does. And, his life takes an interesting turn.

At times, I say yes to more things than I want to say yes to. And, I probably say no to more than things than I should. By saying yes to too many things, I’m certainly not setting my boundaries well. And, by saying no to too many things, I’m not experiencing life to its fullest – not to mention, placing myself in more opportunities to see God at work.

Last week, we visited our friends, Mike and Shari, in Florida. Shari convinced me to try the stand-up paddle board. I initially hesitated, because my thirty-something year old body and balance isn’t what it used to be. But, I eventually ignored the little chicken inside and surrendered. The result? I loved it. I really did. I loved it so much, that I’m saving up my money to buy my very own. So far I’ve saved $1.75. At this rate, I’ll own a YOLO board in 2029. But, that’s something, right?

What is something you wanted to say yes or no to and did the opposite…..and glad you did?

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Tagged as boundaries, Jim Carrey, life, taking chances, Yes Man, YOLO board

June 30, 2009 · 6:00 am

Taking Notice.

Kris and kids

Here’s is what I’m noticing.

I’m not noticing.

Not lately. I’m not noticing

the dimple on Anna’s left cheek.

the way John Henry still snuggles up to his Moosie and Mimi.

the way Kris’ hand rests tenderly on my knee.

the little things.

That really are the big things. I generally try to be intentional about noticing these things. And, the usual crawl of Summer should provide me every opportunity soak up these precious, fleeting moments.

So, today, I’m taking notice.

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Tagged as gratitude, life, noticing

June 16, 2009 · 6:00 am

Nothing Can Separate Us.

I read this last night before nodding off to sleep. I’ve read it many times before. But, this time it just pierced me.

35 Can anything ever separate us from Christ’s love? Does it mean he no longer loves us if we have trouble or calamity, or are persecuted, or hungry, or destitute, or in danger, or threatened with death? 36 (As the Scriptures say, “For your sake we are killed every day; we are being slaughtered like sheep.”) 37 No, despite all these things, overwhelming victory is ours through Christ, who loved us. 38 And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow—not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love. 39 No power in the sky above or in the earth below—indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord. Romans 8:35-39

Even when we go through difficult times, His love still surrounds us.

And, nothing can separate us from that love. “Neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow….”

Just thought maybe somebody needed to hear that today.

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Filed under God Stuff, life, Love

Tagged as God's love, worry

June 12, 2009 · 6:00 am

A Weighty Issue.

*Originally posted April 16, 2008

Anna: “What’s this?”
Mommy: “A scale. It tells you how much you weigh. Do you wanna stand on it?”
Anna: “No.”
Mommy: “Me either.”

I can somewhat understand the weight obsession….just not fully. Granted, I have a pair of jeans, you know, the “skinny jeans” that help me gauge my body. Fact: I haven’t worn those jeans in 2 years; at least, not without muffin top. Fact: I don’t care.

So, why am I still holding onto a pair of “skinny jeans” that I know I will never wear again without a multiple series of stomach flus? I really don’t know. What I do know is that we live in a day where women and even some men (just not mine) are obsessed with their bodies to a detriment. For real.

I usually pack a “Lunchable” for my pre-schooler. Due to the number of his peers with peanut allergies, the classic PB&J is a no-no. So, a “Lunchable” it is. The other day, John Henry informed that his friend does “not each ‘Lunchables’,” because her mom says “they make you fat.” She is five. I am appalled.

Nonetheless, poor body image has become quite the epidemic, and it truly disheartens me. I strive really hard to never discuss weight issues around Anna. I want her to grow up with a healthy self-image, believing who God says she is, not society.

I also try really hard not to discuss weight issues around Kris. Once when we went skiing, I wore my mom’s vintage ski bib circa 1982. I asked Kris the age old question, “How does my butt look?” My husband, whom I love dearly, replied, “Good. Wide, but good.” Yes, in my mind I envisioned hurling his body across the room. Fortunately, for him, I remembered that he doesn’t always think things through before he speaks. I love him still. And, he hasn’t used “wide” and “butt” in the same sentence again.

I love the Psalm 139:14 scripture, “I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.” But, I especially love this NLT translation: “Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex! Your workmanship is marvelous – how well I know it.”

So, when in doubt, remember: you look mah-velous.

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Tagged as diet, self-esteem, self-image, weight

June 8, 2009 · 6:00 am

I Need To Find Myself.

I really dislike this statement. “Find Myself.” Actually, the Word of God tells us to LOSE ourselves. “Whoever seeks to save his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life will preserve it.”

I can understand the heart behind how these words are referenced at times. But, truthfully, it is far from what we should be doing.

Because, when we lose our life and pursue Christ, we know we are. We can read the Word of God and know we are. God is clear in His word that we are:

– seated with Christ.

– bought with a price.

– called His friend.

– children of God.

– justified in Christ.

– complete in Him.

– forgiven.

I could go on. And on. And on. My point is that we don’t need to find ourselves. God has already told us who we are.

My friend, Ron Walters, recently told me a better term for “finding” oneself. He explained how he felt God had told him to “define” himself. To define his boundaries. To define what he’s looking for in a career. To define what he was willing to accept from others, from himself, and for himself. To define how to put legs to what God has called him to do.

Maybe you are in a place where you just need to define yourself. To define yourself and how you are going relate to your current circumstances. But, define yourself knowing WHO you are in Christ.

I know what it’s like to be sitting in a very different place in life where circumstances have changed drastically. I’ve been married then suddenly sitting in a house with newborn baby. A single mom. A very different life. But, I never had to go find myself. I already knew who I was. Because, God had already told me in His Word. I had to define how to apply what was already inside of me to my current conditions.

I know. A little too deep for a Monday. But, I do feel better now. Thankyousokindly.

Are you in a defining place?

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Tagged as find myself, God Stuff, Word of God

May 14, 2009 · 6:00 am

What Do You Do With Your Loss?

First of all, I can hardly believe Danny Gokey is no longer a contender to be the next American Idol. How-EVAH, it is certain that he will find success. And, I guarantee that he will bring glory to God. How do I know this?

Because, he has already endured a much greater loss – losing his wife to complications from a surgery four weeks before he auditioned for Idol last year.

Urged by his wife’s prodding, he not only went on to audition for Idol, but he also set up a foundation in his wife’s name which provides musical instruments to children. My friend, Cindy Beall, would call this “turning his loss into a contribution.”