Tag Archives: Love

November 9, 2010 · 9:27 am

I’m A New Wife! Again!

I’ve never really considered myself the nagging wife. 

Until, I recently realized I had become a nagging wife.

What?  Me?  Yes!  Me!

I’m married to a pilot man.  You know this.  I started noticing that when he was out and about burning holes in the skies, I missed him.  I didn’t miss what he does for me while he’s here.  Just the person, Kris Takle.  My husband.  A sweet kind of miss.  The kind where you send the sweetest text messages and say the sweetest things on the phone. 

Well, this doesn’t sound like nagging.  Of course, it doesn’t. 

Enter nagging.

Pilot man comes home.  I forget how much I missed him and focus on his flight bag on our bedroom floor.  Unpacked.  Then, I notice how we need to spruce up our landscaping.  And, I notice that he doesn’t notice this.  And, his laptop on my kitchen counter?  Really? 

Pick.  Pick.  Pick. 

I fail to notice a husband who tells me how beautiful I am.  I fail to notice a man who desires me, encourages me, and builds me up.

Why?  Because, I’m so focused on what he’s not doing, I am blurring everything good out.

I recognize this in myself.  I hate this in myself.  I hate that I am doing this to the man I love.  To the man who loves me.  So, I tell him.  We talk it out.  And, make a commitment to stop.

Stop the nagging.  Stop the complaining.  Stop noticing what he doesn’t do or see.

So, what if it takes me an extra twenty minutes a day to clean up a little more after him?  What’s twenty minutes?  Or, what if I just resolve that his laptop on the kitchen counter is okay?  And, his unpacked bag can wait? 

What if?

My marriage will be better, because, I’m not selling out to small foxes.  And, that sweet miss for him when he is gone will be even sweeter when he returns home. 

I will be happier.  He will be happier.  And, our love will stay sweeter. 

I’m not exactly sure how this pattern of behavior began for me.  But, I am definitely sure that it needed to end.  Because, I am blessed.  And, I LOVE that man.

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November 4, 2010 · 7:05 am

Put Yo Coat On!

I’m reading through the book of Colossians this week.  In the following passage, Paul encourages us to “clothe ourselves” in these God qualities:

 12 Since God chose you to be the holy people he loves, you must clothe yourselves with tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. 13 Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others. 14 Above all, clothe yourselves with love, which binds us all together in perfect harmony. 15 And let the peace that comes from Christ rule in your hearts. For as members of one body you are called to live in peace. And always be thankful.  16 Let the message about Christ, in all its richness, fill your lives. Teach and counsel each other with all the wisdom he gives. Sing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs to God with thankful hearts.  17 And whatever you do or say, do it as a representative of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks through him to God the Father.  Colossians 3:12-17

If you leave your house without putting on this coat of mercy, kindness, humility, et cetera, et cetera, you leave your house naked.  (Pronounced “nekked.”) 

Since every member of my little family has appointed himself or herself “The Accountability Authority,” it is impossible to get away with taking off this coat.  So, when we behave or respond in a manner that fails to demonstrate those above God qualities, we simply tell, okay yell, “You bettah put yo coat on!” 

It usually diffuses whatever is causing the nakedness and keeps us accountable to clothe ourselves in these qualities that, let’s face it, make us better people. 

Mercy.  Kindness.  Humility.  Gentleness.  Patience.  Forgiveness.  Love.  Peace.  These really make life better and so much easier. 

So, before you go out around people today, put yo coat on!

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November 2, 2010 · 5:00 am

A Cloak of Love.

I love the 1 Corinthians 13 definition of love.  I even hung that jewel of a scripture on my bathroom wall.  I mean, who doesn’t love those verses?  It’s one of the most read aloud chapters outside local church walls. 

I recently studied 1 Corinthians 13:4-8.  I broke it down, brothas and sistas.  But, verse 7, “It always protects…” hit me hardest.  Get this:

The Greek word for protects is “stego.”  It means “to cover over in silence.”  Impressed?  Don’t be.  I looked it up.  Now raise your hand if you think of physical protection when you read “protects?”  As if my one-hundred and ahem pound body could really save you from physical harm – even though I love ya.

But it literally means that we cover an individual with such a cloak of love that no one can see his or her faults.  Isn’t that beautiful?

So, love doesn’t expose the faults of others.  Wanna know the easiest way to not expose faults?  Don’t look for them.  If it’s easy for me to notice a fault, then it’s easy for me to expose that fault.

Don’t.  Shut yo eyes and choose grace instead.

It’s not love.  No matter how you try to shake it.  M’kay?

My apologies if I stepped on any toes.  I pretty much broke all of mine. 

But, it changed the way I view love.  And, more importantly, it changed the way I love.

4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.  5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.  6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.  7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.  8 Love never fails.  1 Corinthians 13:4-8

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August 16, 2010 · 6:00 am

Seven!

Seven of the Gazillion Reasons Kris Takle Is Fun to Love

ONE – He always tells me when he falls, almost falls, or bumps his head, because he knows I’ll laugh until I cry. 

TWO – He encourages me.  He makes me feel like a good writer, a good mother, a good wife, a good friend.  And his encouragement makes me want to be better at those things.

THREE – He responds with a “What can I do to make this better?” whenever I share something that is bothering me.  He is quite the great responder guy.

FOUR – He is a fierce protector.  Don’t mess with me yo, ‘cuz my man will break you.  (I don’t watch Jersey Shore, although this one just made me sound like I do.)

FIVE – His Taklisms are priceless.  Here are a few:

                Take the world by the horns.
                I’m as happy as a kite.  (He defends this one by asking if I’ve ever seen a 
                   sad kite.)
                I haven’t been feeling on top of the weather, (as opposed to being under
                  the weather.)

Y’all have no idea how I could on and on with these.  NO.  IDEA.

SIX – Whenever he plays with our children, he is louder than they are.  He makes this house fun.  Of course, my quick humor makes it pretty dang fun, too.  Just thought I’d prop myself up on that one.  Because FUN is my middle name. 

It’s not really.  Dusty Fun would have sounded odd.

SEVEN  – He never flies a trip where he doesn’t send me a text message that looks like this: 

I miss you 😦

I miss YOU, Kris Takle.  I wish you were here to celebrate with me, but you are out providing for our family, ‘cause momma’s gotta eat. 

You bless me daily.  And, I love you even more today than I did seven years ago. 

Happy Anniversary.  My world is sweeter because of you.

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January 11, 2010 · 6:00 am

What’s In the Bucket?

The other day, I heard my friend, Kim Heinecke, say, “What’s in the well comes up in the bucket.”  This rings true in probably every area of our life. 

Kris can fly an airplane, because he invested into learning how to fly.  He achieved all of his ratings, surrounded himself with other pilots, and flew as often as he could to become good at what he does.  He invested a lot into his aviation well. 

If I want to learn how to knit, I’ll probably read a book on knitting, spend some time with my skilled mother-in-law, and practice the hobby until I become proficient. 

Whatever we invest ourselves into and how we invest ourselves will come up in the bucket.  If I invest into gossip, criticism, and negativity….my bucket will come up looking pretty dirty.

But.

If I want to be prepared for any spiritual attack (or spear)….

If I want to respond to people in a way that is pleasing to God….

If people come to me and need spiritual guidance or counsel in their relationships….

If I want to live a life without fear and a real understanding of what it means to place my hope in Him….

If I want to comprehend that the same power that raised Christ Jesus from the dead is in me….

If I want to be happy….

If I want to be content….

Then I have to invest into His word.  I have to spend time with Christ daily.  I have to seek Him above all else.  I have to love Him with all my heart, soul, and mind – a love so deep and so invested that it is obvious to every person around me.

So, when the enemy comes rushing at me like a flood, he will not move me.

Because, what’s in the well will come up in the bucket.

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December 11, 2009 · 6:00 am

I Like The Hustle & Bustle, But I Need This More.

Hustle.

Bustle.

This Christmas party.

That Christmas party.

Christmas lists.

Christmas shopping.

Christmas travel.

So easy to get lost in it all.

So easy to lose its meaning.

Yesterday, I had one thought in my hustle and bustle:

I just want to put it all aside and throw myself down at the altar of Jesus Christ.
Experience His peace.
Delight in His joy.
Bathe in His love.

Just for a moment.

Maybe longer.

You?

“Love is what’s in the room with you at Christmas if you stop opening presents and listen.”  – Author Unknown

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November 16, 2009 · 6:00 am

Marriage And Growing A Person.

This weekend, I used Kris’ Marriott points that he accumulates when he flies to luxurious vacation spots by working so hard for the family.  After I arranged for the kids to spend the weekend with Falon and Janet (our friends and most awesome babysitters), I surprised him with a night downtown the big OKC.  We woke up to the glorious phenomenon known as room service, and then, I sent Kris to an already scheduled massage at the spa.

Sorry, men.  I’m taken. 

I need not gloat that much in my wifely awesomeness.  I realized it had been entirely too long since I did something special for Kris.  I recognized I was becoming disgruntled with me not being the center of his attention.  With me not being catered to or lavished with some fun surprise.  I was focusing on me.  After all, I AM growing a person, right? 

In my discontentedness, I began to evaluate myself as a spouse.  Have I thought beyond myself lately to do anything out of the ordinary for Kris? 

I knew the answer. 

So, I made a choice to step outside myself, my wants, my stuff and do something all about him.  Because, I love him.  I love being married to him.  HE matters.

In serving my husband this way, my discontentment seemed to fade.  Because, I served him.  This is true in most every area of our life.  When we step outside of our stuff and serve something or somebody else, we take our eyes off of that stuff. 

And, we become content – fulfilled – again.

It’s how Jesus Christ lived His life.  He so loved us that HE gave.

It was a great time together.  He makes me laugh.  Really laugh.  When I asked him Saturday night to carry me to bed, he responded this way, despite the look of fear in his eyes:

“Uh, okay.  Just let me stretch a little first.”

Oh, I love that man.

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September 17, 2009 · 6:00 am

That’s Not What I Signed Up For.

Kris - Dusty

That is not a statement you’ll hear me make regarding my marriage.  You won’t hear me say, “I didn’t sign up for my husband to be gone 5 days a month or 20 days a month.”  “I didn’t sign up for my husband to play golf every week.”  “I didn’t sign up to live hundreds of miles from my family.”

I have heard friends tell me they “didn’t sign up” for whatever changes have occurred in their lives.  Whether it’s a spouse’s new job or simply a new routine. 

I signed up to be married Kris Takle.  Not what he does or doesn’t do.

I signed up for him.  Period.

In the meantime, life happens.  Change is usually inevitable.  Tomorrow may look different from today.  We, as partners in love and marriage, have to adjust.

Because, we are a team.

He needs my support just like I need his. 

Loving Kris Takle.  That’s what I signed up for.

My lover is mine, and I am his.  Song of Solomon 2:16

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September 9, 2009 · 6:00 am

Love. It’s A Battlefield.

John Henry stayed home from school yesterday to recuperate from a cold.  Note:  Guitar Hero does wonders for a six year old under the weather.  Or when you’re simply “not on top of the weather” as I’ve heard my husband say.  Pardon him.  He tends to get American clichés a little confused with….with, I don’t know what. 

Anyhoo.

I walked Anna to the library yesterday morning.  It’s her initial destination before walking to her class.  I stopped by John Henry’s class to inform his teacher he would not be in attendance.  On my way out, I heard one, lone, loud voice belting out, “Why does love always feel like a battlefield!  A battlefield!  A battlefield!” 

I don’t think it comes as a surprise to any of you it was Anna.  None of her classmates joined her anthem.  I scurried straight up to her and told her she should pipe down in the school hallways.  Then, I was relieved I corrected her “butterfield” to “battlefield” only a couple of days prior to her hallway debut.

Long before Jordin Sparks started tearing up the airwaves with her recent hit, Pat Benatar proclaimed “love is a battlefield.”  I have single girlfriends who will say “Amen” to that sentiment.  And, knowing some of their experiences, I tend to agree.  But, once you’re married?

Love can still feel like a battlefield.  It’s just a different battle.  It’s not a battle between husband and wife.  It’s a battle to maintain your marriage.  One in two marriages will end in divorce.  So, you unquestionably have to fight to keep the love alive and the commitment strong.  Even in scriptures Paul proclaims if you marry, you’ll have trouble. 

So, to my married readers, I say FIGHT for your marriage. 

Every.

Single.

Day.

So, when you’re old, gray, going to bed by 8, and excited for the new Dancing With the Stars season(or, perhaps, that’s just Big Mama), you’ll turn and look at your spouse and be glad you did.

And, for those of you thinking, “It’s too late for me”:  Never give up. 

Coming from a girl on a second go ‘round.

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July 24, 2009 · 6:00 am

That’s Not Fair!

There is no book or instruction manual that tells you how to handle every parenting quandary.  My lack of wisdom in dealing with various situations became even more evident last night.  I allowed John Henry and Anna to pick ONE movie to watch in their room together.  Of course, they picked two different movies.  And, of course, I thought out loud, “Hmmm. How can we handle this?”  John Henry suggested they pick a number between one and ten. 

Perfect.

They did.  He won.  She wailed.

It wasn’t very fair for Anna even if she would get her pick next time.  I could have told her the first shall be last, and the last shall be first, but I felt certain that wouldn’t have sped her recovery.  It was a hard lesson in life for a four year old.  A lesson we all learn if we live long enough.

Life is not fair.

It’s not fair that I’m only 5’3”.  It’s not fair that I have a digestive disease. 

It’s not fair that my very good friend, Josh, died at 27.  It’s not fair that there are children in India begging for food.  It’s not fair that a five year old little girl has a brain tumor. 

So many things in life aren’t fair.

But, if God was fair, we would all die and pay a price for our sins.  One of my favorite Cindy Beall lines on “God isn’t fair” is: “I’m glad He’s not.  I need His mercy.”  The promise of eternal life isn’t about God being fair.  It’s about His incomprehensible love and mercy.

Life may seem unfair sometimes.  But, God is full of mercy.  He IS mercy.  He IS just.  And, He is faithful to make all things work together for the good.

This, I know well.

As for Anna….well, her tender, sweet big brother parted her tears, and said, “Anna, we can watch your movie.”

Was that fair for John Henry?  Well, maybe he does have a grasp on the first shall be last truth.  Or, just maybe, he was being merciful to his little sister. 

Either way, I am so humbled to be that young man’s mother.

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