Category Archives: Spiritual Journey

December 8, 2009 · 6:00 am

Good Thing I Didn’t Attempt the Backbend at Gymnastics.

Me:  I am so tired, and I haven’t even written my post yet.

Kris:  Well, you better get busy.

Me:  I just don’t know where to begin right this minute.  I should’ve spent more time with Jesus today.

And, that’s the honest conversation that occurred right before my fingers got to tappin’ on this here keyboard. 

Truth is, I haven’t read the first scripture today.  The only prayers I’ve prayed are the ones I pray every day over my children.  But, to say, I “should’ve spent more time with Jesus today” is probably an unfair statement. 

Because, He is always right here.  Beside me.  Probably wanting to snatch that Little Debbie Christmas Tree Cake right out of my hands.  He doesn’t, because even He knows you don’t take food from a woman. 

I did listen to some praise and worship music while I peeled potatoes this afternoon.  You read that right.  I COOKED DINNER.  And, I did think about His goodness while using that incredible invention called the peeler.  Is that what it’s called? 

So, my previous unfair statement I made to my husband reminded me of the little book I read this summer called, “The Practice of the Presence of God.”  It’s the acknowledging of Christ in the everyday routine.  In the peeling of the potatoes.  In the Parents’ Day at Anna’s gymnastics class where she insisted I jump into the foam pit, too.

I did.

I acknowledged the Lord Jesus Christ when I finally made it out of that thing knowing I could not have gotten out of there without Him. 

But, I still love those intentional moments where I open His book of treasures – or my nifty YouVersion application on my iPhone.  Moments where I pray, “Lord, reveal something new about YOU to me today.”

Then, there are moments where I don’t even have to pray that prayer.  He just reveals Himself without me even asking Him to.

Because, we are in a relationship.  And, He NEVER leaves my side.

He doesn’t leave yours either, ya know?

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December 7, 2009 · 6:00 am

Deeper Still.

What do you get when you have Kay Arthur, Beth Moore, and Priscilla Shirer all in one room together?  Well, certainly not a lack of knowledge of the Bible. 

Lord. Have. Mercy.

I enjoyed a great weekend with a few my BS’ers, er, Bible Study gals, at the Deeper Still conference in OKC.  We had intended on eating a nice dinner in Bricktown prior to the event on Friday, but by the time we parked, time was a tickin’.  Call me spoiled, but concession nachos and cheese are not my idea of a satisfying meal.  A Little Debbie Christmas Tree Cake maybe.  But, not nachos.  When we were crossing the street downtown, my friend, Deleise, said, “I smell steak, and it makes me sad.”  I suddenly had a strange feeling come over me that we must be sisters. 

Deleise and I have a lot in common.  She is a reallllly good cook, and I reallllly love good food.   

Anyhoo, back to Deeper Still. 

Kay Arthur taught the book of Hebrews Friday night.  The WHOLE book of Hebrews.  So, if y’all have any questions on Hebrews, feel free to call me.  I’ll tell you to call Kay Arthur. 

I was most excited to hear Beth Moore until Mrs. Priscilla took the stage.  I triple heart her.  She said a whole lotta goodness, but I especially loved this statement:

“Whether God chooses to do something is a question of His sovereignty, not His ability.”

I always think of Job when I think of the sovereignty of God.  You know, the whole “where were you” speech.  But key in it all is to never stop praying.

Let’s say that again.

Never stop praying.

Don’t grow weary in praying for that thing you keep praying for.  Even when it seems God is not answering.  Or even hearing ya.  Heavens, how long did Elijah pray for rain?  I can’t remember for sure, you’ll have to ask my daddy or Kay Arthur, but I know it was a long time.

Just remember, He can do anything.

And, what concerns you concerns Him.  You can put God in a box.  But your box will not limit Him.  It will just limit your awareness of Him.

He’s bigger than your problem.

And, He is able.

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November 3, 2009 · 6:00 am

She Gave All She Had.

The Holy Spirit doesn’t always work in us the way we think He might.  When I decided to surrender this pride thing, I was surprised how God chose to deal with it.  One very large way He has operated, if you will, is by breaking my heart for others in need.  Giving in the past has always been easy.  Even a no-brainer.  It was easy to write a check and make things better for someone in need.  And, it wasn’t that I was without compassion.  I just didn’t truly have an understanding of what it means to be broken for people less fortunate. 

I was reminded of the story where Jesus is teaching at the temple in Jerusalem where He witnessed the rich men’s donations.  But, it was one widow who gave two mites that caught His attention.

The others gave out of their abundance.  This widow gave everything she had.

And, not just financially.  She surrendered her whole self and everything she possessed. 

This especially went to straight to the heart of Christ.  Because, in a few short days, He would give everything He had on a cross.

I don’t want to just give out of my abundance.  I want to give out of my want.  Out of my hurt.  I want to give no matter what place I’m in.

That’s what Christ modeled for us.

I’m still learning to live a life fully surrendered. 

Are you?

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October 27, 2009 · 6:00 am

Heart Surgery.

Pride.

That’s my ugly issue.

Pride can come in different forms.  But, at the end of the day, it’s all self-centeredness. 

My stuff reveals itself when I stress over finding the perfect outfit to wear for an event.  Or, when I stress over the idea that people expect me to perform at a certain level.  Or, when I want to make sure I give the perfect gift.  Or, when I want more stuff than I already have – which is, I’m certain, more than I need.

It’s all pride. 

And, there is nothing holy about it.

I wish my issue was a bit more noble.  Of course, I suppose any unholy stuff we got goin’ on isn’t exactly noble.

But still.

This is my stuff.

And, I’ve let God open up my heart and operate.

Because, more than anything else on this earth, I want to be more like Him. 

I want to live beyond myself.

Beyond my pride.

Beyond me.

Less of me.  More of Him.

Is there anything more important than that?

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October 26, 2009 · 6:00 am

Refining.

I had been frustrated with God for few days.  He wasn’t answering my prayers.  He didn’t appear to be moving on my behalf.  And, I reminded Him a time or three of my faithfulness – my investments into the Kingdom and into others.  ‘Cause, clearly, it’s all about me. 

I.Got. Nothin’.   

I probably should’ve gotten a “Where were you when I laid the foundations of the earth” speech.  I deserved it.

Hello, God.  Are you there?  Is this thing on?  Testing one, two, three. 

I did all of those things I know to do.  I even read and re-read “Don’t worry about anything, but in everything, through prayer and petition with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses every thought, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” (Philippians 4:6-7)  I just added my own “Hmph” to the end of it.

Then, a light came on.  I was sitting at my kitchen table watching John Henry complete a few make-up assignments, and I repeated my “Hmph.”  And, the silence ended. 

He spoke. 

So, I asked….

“What are You wanting to teach me through this?”

Kind of changed my perspective a wee bit. 

Sometimes, we go through difficult situations brought on by ourselves, others, or just life circumstances.  This, we know.  What we, or I, seem to forget is that God can and will use these times to refine us.

You see, friends, we may be created in His image, but we aren’t Him.  And, He wants us to be more like Him.  So, He’ll refine us. 

Because, He love us.

And, that’s a good thing.

As the days passed, God began to make me painfully aware of some areas in my life that weren’t completely surrendered to Him – one particular area that didn’t resemble Christ in any way. 

So, I let Him begin doing some heart surgery on me.

Refining, if you will.

Tomorrow, I’ll share what that one thing is.

Do you feel God refining an area in your life?

For you, O God, tested us; you refined us like silver.  Psalm 66:10

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October 21, 2009 · 6:00 am

I Don’t Drive 35.

It’s true.  I’m 35 years old today.  I don’t feel a day older than 34 ½.  When my mom was 35 years old, she had a sixteen year old.  Wha?  It appears I’ll be 40 with a 5 year old.  I’ve heard having children a little later in life doesn’t keep you young, but it keeps you active.

Whatev’. 

I’m chilling an expensive bottle of Welch’s Grape Juice to celebrate tonight.  Should be a total blast.  I’d invite you all to my party, except there isn’t one.  I’m not bitter.  And, don’t y’all run out and get me something….until, I get you my correct address. 

Thirty-five.  35.  THIRTY-FIVE! 

Here are 35 random things I’ve learned in 35 years. 

1. When a toilet appears clogged, don’t flush it just to see what happens.

2. Don’t spend money you don’t have unless you really can’t live without those Ugg boots.  And, you can’t.  Trust me.  Wait, is that bad advice?

3. Take your sunglasses off when a police officer pulls you over for speeding.  I’m just sayin’. 

4. Put your preferred thing to do aside, and play Sorry! with your kids.  Even if it does take FOR-EVER.

5. Suck it up.  It’s not always about you.

6. Forgive.  Immediately.

7. Go get your child out of bed on occasion, and put her in bed with you.  Just because you want to snuggle.  She is your child.  And, the years do fly by.

8. Pride doesn’t work well in a marriage.  Humble yourself, and speak kindly.

9. Trust in the Lord with all your heart.  Lord knows, I can’t lean on my own understanding.

10. It’s usually not as bad as it seems.

11. My husband is a terrible mind-reader, but he can make some mean cinnamon rolls.

12. Surround yourself with positive people.  Even funny people.  They make life bearable.

13. Listen intently to your little ones now, so they’ll share their heart when they are older.

14. Mosquitoes are aggravatin’.  Always.

15. Nothing good happens after midnight.  Get to where you’re gonna get by 12am. (Thank @jburengoss for that one.)

16. Whenever you feel disconnected from your Creator, do whatever you’ve gotta do to reconnect.  And fast.

17. Never say never.  It’s a very long time.

18. Honor your mom and dad for as long as you live.

19. I never want to exercise.  Ever.  But, I’m always happy I did.  *I need to remember this more often.*

20. Friends are great investments.

21. Junior Mints are always a good idea.

22. So is sweet tea.

23. And listening to Sting.

24. Meeting Sting is one of my favorite moments ever.

25. Right up there with graduating from college.  For real.

26. My Big Mama makes the best biscuits.  And, she makes me laugh.  I wish I could spend more time with her.

27. Divorce is hell.  Period.

28. Communicate, communicate, communicate with your spouse.  But, learn how to communicate the right way.

29. In all my travels and life experiences, I’ve seen nothing more beautiful than the birth of my children.

30. Contentment is bliss. 

31. Being with family is, too.

32. I love the local church.  Love it.  I’m so thankful for the Sunday experience with body of Christ.  Nothing refills your tank quite like it.

33. My prayer life is essential.

34. So is living a life of gratitude. *Though, I need gentle reminders of this.*

35.  And, I continue to learn how wide and long and high is the love of Christ.

I could add to this list.  So could you.

Wanna share sumpin’ you’ve learned?

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October 8, 2009 · 6:00 am

Teachable Moments.

My sweet seven year old came home from school yesterday a little more solemn than usual.  His sober demeanor eventually turned into a seemingly sour attitude.  By this point, I was pretty much over his crabbiness that was even evident in his silence.  I addressed his current position and told him, “There is no reason for your sour attitude.”  After all, we leave for the beach in a few short days.  Life is good for him.  What gives?

As I watched him attempt to compose himself, the thought of asking him what he may be feeling occurred to me.  There ya go, Mom. 

“John Henry, is there something bothering you?”  I finally engaged him.

His response flowed so effortlessly.  A friend had “told a lie about (him).” 

“He said I told him to write on the smart board, and I didn’t.”  He went on to explain.  “He tried to make something he did all my fault.”

I loved on my son and sympathized with him.  I told him how I know that hurts. 

After bedtime readings, we prayed.  I told John Henry we needed to forgive his friend. 

“How do I forgive him?  What do I do?”  He asked.

“You choose to still love him and be his friend.”  This was the best way I knew how to explain such a powerful act to a seven year old.

I reinforced with him that it was okay to still feel hurt.  But, he couldn’t let that hurt affect his friendship.

What if I had never asked John Henry, “Is there something bothering you?”  Perhaps, it was the Spirit’s prompting.  No matter what, I’m glad I didn’t just let it go.  I’m thankful I engaged my son.

Otherwise, I would have failed to acknowledge that he was hurting.

 And, I would have missed a teachable moment on forgiveness.

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October 1, 2009 · 8:14 am

My Pre-Blogging Life: Part Three

journal entry jan 03 wp

January 16, 2003, my divorce was final.  Below is the latter part of my journal entry on that day.  If you are going through a difficult time today, I hope these words give you hope.  I hope they help you realize that in the middle of your storm, God’s presence and goodness is always there.

I know these things for certain:

1.  I’m blessed with a beautiful son.

2.  I have friends that carry me, make me laugh, and love me.

3.  My parents love me, and my happiness is their greatest concern.

4.  There is release in forgiveness.

5.  I am strong.

6.  I’m not afraid to love or put my heart on the line.

7.  I’m ready to, pardon the cliché, spread my wings and fly.

8.  Doors are wide open.

9.  It is good to laugh long and hard every day.

10. I’m better than okay.

11. God has only good things for me.

12. Tribulation produces perseverance, perseverance produces character, and character produces hope.  And, hope does not disappoint.

13. This, too, shall pass.

14. I love my life.

15. I miss my dogs.

16. I love to dance.

17. Running releases stress.

18. I’m the luckiest girl on earth.

19. I’m thankful ’02 is over.

20. I’m thankful for ’02.

Life is an incredible journey.  I learn and grow from every second it offers.  I’m in a great place, and I’ll be in a better place tomorrow.

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September 30, 2009 · 6:00 am

My Pre-Blogging Life: Part Two

I continued to read more of my old journal last night.  I read the frustrations of a fifteen and sixteen year old girl wanting to date one Bryan Landreth.  We’ll save that for a completely different post.  I’m just thankful I’m not sixteen any more.  Can I get an amen? 

I read an entry written in 1998 about loss.  About losing my Grandfather five months after he danced at my wedding.  About losing a best friend to a rare disease only one month after my Grandfather’s passing…….

About how we learned so terribly young to not only tell those dear to us we love them….

but why we love them.

I not only drew closer to friends and family during this time of loss.  I grew closer to my Creator.  I wrote in that July 9, 1998 journal entry:

“God has really been stirring in me a greater need for intimacy with Him.”

We already know that when we draw close to Him, He draws close to us.  Or, perhaps, He draws close to us waiting on us to draw close to Him.  Either way, when we do, we learn this:

journal entry july 98 wp

“The greatest revelation one can obtain is the knowledge that God loves them very much.”

Ya know, even eleven years later, I still believe this to be true.

God loves us so, so very much.  He loves us no matter what we do or don’t do.  His love is unchanging.  And, when we really get the revelation of how much He loves us, we can walk knowing we are forgiven.  We are free.  And, we belong to Him.

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September 29, 2009 · 6:00 am

My Pre-Blogging Life.

Long before I started this Randomness journal online, I had this journal.

journal wp

This book has been in my life since October of 1986.  Susan Woodward (Mimi) gave it to me.  See?

journal - susan wp

That was twenty-three years ago.  TWENTY-THREE!  That would have made me 11 years old.  I pulled out that old journal last night.  I have written in this journal every year since 1986 until 2003.  My very first entry began like this:

Journal entry 86 wp

The title of my entry was “The First Time the Lord Spoke to Me.”  I read through the writing of an eleven year old with a thirty-four year old heart.  I can still remember her and what she felt.  I read about a young girl wanting to hear God speak to her about a situation.  I wanted to hear a yes or a no.  I simply heard a trust that my parents’ decision is the will of God. 

I can remember my father telling me “no” concerning an event I wanted to hear a “yes” to.  I wrote, “Before the Lord spoke to me, I just knew I’d be disappointed if dad said no.” 

When God speaks, it should bring us peace.  It should make trusting Him easier, because His thoughts are so much higher than our thoughts.  It was such a simple concept for me to grasp at age 11.  But, at 34, I forget, on occasion, to be solely dependent on Him and what He says. 

I forget to trust His voice.

I forget to trust His voice in scriptures. 

I need that eleven year old girl to remind me more often that His very voice can calm stormy waters and bring peace to an unsettled heart. 

How do I ever forget that?

Incline my heart to your word.  Psalm 119:36

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