Category Archives: parenting

August 13, 2009 · 6:00 am

A Broken And A Contrite Heart.

I keep getting these e-mails about potential boarding schools.  I’ve yet to classify them as spam, you know, just in case.  Oh, I would never.  I could never. 

Could I?

No.  I love this insanely unpredictable saga I live with a husband, two kids, and a dog.  And, of course, baby number three forming as I type. 

Yesterday, I told you about our latest parenting issue with little Miss Takle.  But yesterday afternoon, I encountered a discipline issue with John Henry.  And, his response broke me.

He had mistreated his sister.  It was small stuff by most people’s terms.  But, we see treating each other the way Christ wants us to treat each other as big stuff. 

I sent him to his room.  I entered knowing that he would have to be disciplined.  After it was over, he fell in my arms, and wailed, “The things I did to my sister were wrong!”  His heartfelt repentance broke him.

It broke me.

I felt tears touching my shoulders, and I’m sure he felt tears touching his.  There are times when my children tell one another they are sorry, because we force it on them.  Then, there are moments like these where they are truly broken.  They experience true repentance. 

Later that evening, John Henry asked me to tell Kris what happened. 

“You want me to tell Dad?”  I asked him.

“Yes.  I want him to know,” he responded.

He doesn’t even understand the scripture of confessing your sins to one another, but he is already practicing it.  I couldn’t help but think.  When is the last time I felt that kind of repentance in my own heart?  Where I was really broken?  Am I that broken when I talk about someone behind their back?  When I mishandle someone?  When I sin against my Father? 

Lord, create in me a new heart.  Renew a right spirit within me.

Let me come before your throne with a heart of David.  And, understand, once again, the JOY of your salvation.   

The sacrifice you desire is a broken spirit.  You will not reject a broken and repentant heart, O God.  Psalm 51:17

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August 12, 2009 · 8:31 am

She Will As Soon As She Finishes Her Puzzle.

Had I typed a single word last night, it would have simply been “nauseated.”  Just as I was beginning to get over this ugly, ugly word, it resurfaced like that bitter, old aunt who won’t go back home fast enough.  I attempt to remind myself that of the miracle growing inside of me.  But, instead, I glare at my husband, because this is clearly his fault. 

I wake up this morning, and eat a piece of toast with raspberry preserves and drink a little caffeine free coke.  I feel better.  For now.  So, perhaps, now I can write something that won’t sound so, well, bitter?  Yes.

Here is our latest issue in parenting.  It concerns our funny and determined four year old.  Surprised?  I didn’t think so.  Anna has a reason for everything.  EVERYTHING.  You can also ask her to do something, and she has her very own way of getting to the task.  For example, Kris asked her to go put her shoes on.  She first puts on her skate, because she plans to skate to her room to where her shoes are. 

I got this.

Kris didn’t.

She had a talkin’ to.

I privately explained to Kris that her intent was to skate to her room, then she’d obey his instruction.  Kris explained to me that she should obey right away without excuse or delay.

I tend to agree.  But, it sure is hard, because really?  She has some pretty valid explanations.  I mean, wouldn’t you rather skate to your room than walk like normal people?  So, Kris, er, we, have been cracking down on her delayed obedience.  He’s right in doing so.  I just get her. 

Perhaps, I see myself in her little four-year old body? 

But still.  Delayed obedience really isn’t obedience is it?  Parenting is tough.  Especially when those funny girls are just so dang cute.

You can relate, yes?

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August 10, 2009 · 6:00 am

We ARE The Church.

This weekend, Pastor Craig Groeschel explained that Christ-followers looking to the church to meet all of their needs is bad theology.  This wasn’t the first time I’ve heard this said, and I’ve always agreed with the statement.  But, God decided to mess me up with it about 2:00 am Sunday morning.  Not sure why we couldn’t talk at a more decent hour, but I’m not one for arguing with the giver of life.  At least, not on Sunday. 

At first, these thoughts started sweeping through my mind:

When did we become such consumers in our faith that we sit on the edges of our seats waiting for that one song to make us engage in worshipping our Creator?  Or that one message that would solidify our spiritual journey or give us that tingling feeling to make us go home feeling good about ourselves? 

As if the transforming power of “For God so loved the world that He gave” isn’t enough? 

I do not take for granted creative ways for reaching lost people.  I believe using whatever means we have to lead people to Christ.  And, while we as Christ-followers enjoy the media driven, smoke and lights presentation, it’s not really for us.

The church is not here for us.  We are the church.  And, we exist for the world.

After I began to process all of these thoughts, God began to talk to me about how I parent my children.  I love giving to my children.  I will continue to give to my children.  But not at the cost of them translating those gifts – or their needs being met – to how they view the church.  God showed me to instruct and inspire my children so they understand that THEY are the church.  THEY exist for the world.  So, I’m praying God will put before us opportunities where we can be just that.  The Church.  And, I know those opportunities are many. 

I don’t want to just go through the motions of life.  I don’t want my children to fail to recognize who they are.  The bride of Christ. 

Pastor Bill Hybels says, “the church is the hope of the world.”

I could not agree more.

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August 5, 2009 · 6:00 am

Finding New Ways To Connect.

I’m learning that how I connect with my children changes from year to year.  I used to always be able to connect with John Henry by simply snuggling with him on the sofa in front of a movie. 

Snuggling just isn’t cool.  Not always. 

When I read John Eldredge’s Wild At Heart almost seven years ago, I knew this day would come.  I knew one day, I would have to modify the way I nurture my son.  Because, he is a future warrior.  And, I want him to be comfortable being the man God created him to be.  So, I’ve had to find new ways to connect with him.

Here is one.

JH - Mom

Nothing says love like a fight with super soakers.

Especially for a six-year old boy.

JH - Mom 2

I’m pretty sure I won this round.  And, he can’t wait for a re-match. 

It’s my prayer that if I engage in things with him that he loves….in activities that make him feel good about being a young man, he will be comfortable sharing his heart. 

And, I want his heart more than I want his obedience.  Because, when I capture his heart, obedience simply follows. 

I am not a perfect mother to my son.  I fail often.  I think I probably fail far too often.  But, I don’t want to.  I want to take the time to put down my insignificant distractions and get soaked outside with my beautiful, blue-eyed boy.  God has entrusted me with John Henry.  And, I love him so, so very much.

What is one way you connect with your kids?

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August 4, 2009 · 6:00 am

No Boys Allowed.

It’s been about a year since we discovered this on Anna’s bedroom wall.

Anna - wall wp

Kris decided that we should let her keep this sketch of her name.  But, not before a long discussion on why she was to never do it again.

Fast forward to yesterday evening.  In walks Anna into the family room.

“Mom, I need you to wet a towel for me.”

“Why?” I queried.

“Because, I did something I’m not supposed to do.”

I walked into her room, and this is what I saw on her door entrance:

Anna - door wp

With permanent marker.

If I know Kris, he’ll allow her to keep this work of art, too.  Because, after all, boys are NOT allowed in her room. 

Ever.

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July 24, 2009 · 6:00 am

That’s Not Fair!

There is no book or instruction manual that tells you how to handle every parenting quandary.  My lack of wisdom in dealing with various situations became even more evident last night.  I allowed John Henry and Anna to pick ONE movie to watch in their room together.  Of course, they picked two different movies.  And, of course, I thought out loud, “Hmmm. How can we handle this?”  John Henry suggested they pick a number between one and ten. 

Perfect.

They did.  He won.  She wailed.

It wasn’t very fair for Anna even if she would get her pick next time.  I could have told her the first shall be last, and the last shall be first, but I felt certain that wouldn’t have sped her recovery.  It was a hard lesson in life for a four year old.  A lesson we all learn if we live long enough.

Life is not fair.

It’s not fair that I’m only 5’3”.  It’s not fair that I have a digestive disease. 

It’s not fair that my very good friend, Josh, died at 27.  It’s not fair that there are children in India begging for food.  It’s not fair that a five year old little girl has a brain tumor. 

So many things in life aren’t fair.

But, if God was fair, we would all die and pay a price for our sins.  One of my favorite Cindy Beall lines on “God isn’t fair” is: “I’m glad He’s not.  I need His mercy.”  The promise of eternal life isn’t about God being fair.  It’s about His incomprehensible love and mercy.

Life may seem unfair sometimes.  But, God is full of mercy.  He IS mercy.  He IS just.  And, He is faithful to make all things work together for the good.

This, I know well.

As for Anna….well, her tender, sweet big brother parted her tears, and said, “Anna, we can watch your movie.”

Was that fair for John Henry?  Well, maybe he does have a grasp on the first shall be last truth.  Or, just maybe, he was being merciful to his little sister. 

Either way, I am so humbled to be that young man’s mother.

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July 22, 2009 · 6:00 am

Coming Soon!

Takle Family 5

It’s true.  We did it.  Well, Kris and I did it.  We are going to be a family of FIVE, oh, sometime in March of 2010.  And, yes, we did it on purpose.  Neither of us just felt our family was quite complete.  But, I have a feeling that this third addition will seal it for us.  Can I get an Amen?  Praise Him.

We discovered our newest, soon to be released, little person over a week ago.  We just told big brother and big sister a couple of days ago. 

Here is John Henry when we told him followed by his response:

Baby news - JH

“Are you kidding me?”

And, here is Anna, who lives in Annaville, followed by her response:

Baby news - Anna

“I want the girl kind.”

They are both excited.  We all are.  Of course, the funniest response came from BigMama:

“Ooohhh nooooooooo.”

“Oh no, BigMama?”  I asked her.

“Well, did ya want another one?”  She defended.

“Yes!”  I explained.

“Well, alright then.  If you’re happy, I’m happy for ya.  If you’re sad, then I’m sad for ya.”

She makes me laugh.  Always.

So, there you have it.  And, here I grow.

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July 9, 2009 · 6:00 am

Thankyousokindly, John Henry.

JH - self photog

Photograph taken by.  Yep.  John Henry.

I don’t allow my children to say “Shut up.”  Naturally.  However, I say “Shut up” when I’m surprised.  You know, like when someone says, “I just won a $10 million lottery,” and I respond “Shut. Up!”  Yeah, that “Shut up.” 

So, John Henry overheard a conversation much like the one above a couple of days ago….except, no one won a lottery else he would have chartered a jet plane to Bahamas and taken me.  I’m sure of it. 

The conversation concluded:

Me:  “Shut. Up!”

John Henry:  “Mom, careful with your words.”

Ouch.

A reminder that:

1) I need to model for my children what I’m trying to teach them.

And.

2) I need to always be careful with my words.

Always.

Our words shape our world.

Truly.

They really do.

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June 29, 2009 · 6:00 am

Before You Pick Your Mate…

My very good friend (and a super cool pastor at EWC), Will Doss, asked a very good question last night.

He said, “What is one trait you would tell your son or daughter to look for in a spouse?”

I answered with a broad “someone with a heart after God.”  I just tend to believe that when we have a heart after Christ, everything else follows as it is supposed to. 

My dad condensed it to “someone who is both faithful and loyal.”  In other words, someone who does exactly what he or she says he or she is going to do.

Each of us individually should bring glory to Christ.  I think a good question to answer when entering into a marriage is “Will we bring more glory to Christ together than we will apart?”

What would you (or did you) tell your son or daughter?  What is one trait you would encourage someone to look for in a spouse?

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June 19, 2009 · 6:00 am

Guest Blog: Barbara Goss

Mom wp

Randomness Readers, it is with the greatest of honors I give you my mama today.  Love her.  Lu-huv her.  Take it away, Mom.

Do You Know Him as Father?

I would like to thank Dusty for giving me this opportunity to be a guest on her blog.  I do not take this lightly.  I consider it a huge honor just to be asked.  So, in an attempt to be half as interesting and not nearly as funny as my wonderful daughter, here it goes.

This Sunday is Father’s Day, and I would like to share a little of my life and what I have learned from my father.

To provide for our family, my father was a truck driver.  He was rarely at home, so I did not have a relationship with him.  I saw my dad one week a month (sometimes), and then when I did see him, it truly was a strain and very stressful time.  I won’t bother you with those details.  Growing up in a family without a “father figure” would become an issue with me later in life as one would probably imagine.

After giving my life to Jesus and growing in my faith, I still felt I was missing out on something.  I was longing for something more.  A part of my heart ached.  There was a part missing.  

I cried out to Jesus. 

I will never forget to this day how He spoke to me.  I can even recall where I was standing at that very moment.  He spoke these words to me:   “You know me as Jesus, and you know me as Lord.   And, My Holy Spirit you know and have experienced.  But, do you know me as your Father?   Have you opened that door”?   In Psalms 68: 5, He said He would be a Father to the fatherless.

Overwhelmed, I couldn’t hold back the tears. 

It was then and there that I realized I didn’t know what a father was.  It was once said to me the way we see our earthly father is the way we see and accept our Heavenly Father.  For me, that was so true.  I petitioned God to teach me – show me what a father is, and does!  And, it all started from there.  He began to teach me about fathers, and how a father loves his children. How a father will protect them, never leaves them, guides them, and how a father longs to give and bless his children.

The Miracle?  God restored and gave me an amazing relationship with my earthly father!  My father went to be with the Lord in 1985, but I had a wonderful relationship with my father for almost 10 years – one that I would have never imagined. God, our Father, is an awesome God and an amazing Father.  Do you know Him as your Father?

I would also like tell my dearest and best friend, who not only happens to be a wonderful father to our daughter, but great father to an incredible church (Eagles Way):  Happy Father’s Day Buren Goss.  I love you!

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