Tag Archives: parenting

Lock Up Your Sparkly Shoes.

The names have been changed to protect the innocent.  Except Anna’s.  For, she is not innocent.

So, Anna brings home a headband from school that is clearly not hers. 

Me:  “Anna, where did you get this?”

Anna:  “I found it on the ground at school.”

Me:  And who does it belong to?

Anna:  “Hmm.  It might belong to Lucy.”

I think you all know what conversation followed.   The whole taking things that don’t belong to you, etc, etc.  And, I explained to her how she would need to return said headband to Lucy with a heartfelt “I’m sorry.”

She responds…

Anna:  “Well, at least I didn’t take Susie’s new sparkly shoes she got from a garage sale.”

Lord Jesus, help me.

15 Comments

Filed under Kid Stuff, parenting

There Is No Vaccination For Moments Like These.

I had every intention on writing something deeply spiritual – a recent heart check, if you will.  But, the only words that seems to glide off of my fingertips are ones of PLEASE, DEAR JESUS, MAY I NEVER EXPERIENCE A MOMENT LIKE THAT EVER AGAIN WITH ONE ANNA TAKLE.

It’s no secret it’s flu season.  Believe me, it’s NO secret.  The entire state of Oklahoma has consumed the majority of the distributed flu vaccinations.  And, I’m not talkin’ H1N1.  Just the old rag-u-lah flu shot.  When my pediatrician’s office called yesterday to inform me they were cancelling my kids’ Wednesday appointment due to “We are slap out of ‘em,” I knew I had to take matters into my own hands. 

As it turned out, the local health department was hosting their first free clinic yesterday. 

Do you know what free means? 

It means everybody and their uncle would be in line for the vaccination.

So, I waited.

And, I waited.

With my two children.

In the misty rain.

And, I was not leaving there.

Without.

A.

Flu.

Shot.

John Henry was first up.  He sat calmly and never peeped.

Then, Anna.

Sweet Jesus, then Anna.

Put on a display that I could never describe….no actor could ever portray….no eye has seen…..no ear has heard….

What the entire city of Oklahoma and surrounding counties heard in those ten minutes.  TEN. 

Finally, the nurse offered an intra-nasal vaccination.  Quite frankly, I’m no fan of this method. 

But, I no longer had an opinion.  I just wanted to get out.  And run.  Far, far away. 

I let the very patient nurse administer the intra-nasal vaccine.  And, I ran.

To McDonalds.  Because, I promised.

It is moments like these I become so profoundly aware that motherhood is not for the faint of heart.  It’s hard.  It’s a constant questioning of a mother’s decisions.

It’s a mission to point my children toward Christ.

To cultivate character and respect.

To decide whether or not to call in reinforcements to hold down one four year old for a vaccination or choose another method.

It’s just hard sometimes, friends.

Are there days I would love to go back to my twenties and be childless and fancy free?

Not. A. One.

Besides, I would have never heard, “Mom, I don’t want a blue shot!”

Now, somebody pass a cinnamon roll, and y’all have a great day.

7 Comments

Filed under Kid Stuff, Motherhood, parenting

Time To Lock Up The Scissors Again.

Wow.  God is really birthing more in me than just a baby right now.  Just as this tot is growing by the day, I really feel that God is working some really cool things inside me.  Oh how I wish I could disclose all that incredible stuff right now, but, quite frankly, I haven’t the energy.  Not today.  Yes, it takes more energy to share from the deepest parts of me than it does to show you pictures like this.

Barbie horse

Anna loves to role play with her Barbies and their horses.  Of course, it IS her game, and she tells me exactly what my Barbie character should say when I play with her.  Her storyline began to concern me when she suggested that the Barbies pretend their parents were dead.

“Uh, Anna, I don’t like that story.  We’re not playing that,” I told her.

“Well, then.  Their parents are invisible,” she compromised.

I wasn’t certain where this thought pattern was coming from, but I ceded and let her live in Annaville.

We continued to play when I noticed she had gotten creative with the scissors again.  Notice the horse’s mane.  Or lack of mane.

Then, I saw noticed where she had cut one of the Barbie’s bangs.  This just settled the age old question within me of “should I cut bangs or not?” 

Um, not.

To be honest, I don’t LOVE playing Barbies.  Especially, when my Barbie never says the “right things.”  My four year old reminds me it is her game, and subsequently tells me everysingleword to say. 

But, I play anyway. 

I’m hoping that if I play with her now, she’ll come to me later. 

I have to deposit, deposit, deposit into my children.  I’m sure to make a withdrawal down the road and have to say “I was wrong.”  So, I need to invest as much as I can.

So, I become a safe place for her.

To come to me for anything.

And, with anything.

Know what I mean?

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to go talk to my invisible parents.

5 Comments

Filed under Kid Stuff, Motherhood, parenting

I Was Wrong.

There are times I have to ask one of my children to forgive me.  It’s one of the most important things I can do as their mother.  Like the other day when Anna cut open a bag of dish candy.  In the middle of the bag.  Where there is no hope for closing it without candy spilling out everywhere.  I was upset.  My response was unnecessarily harsh.  And, my usually tough little girl ran to her room in tears.

I was wrong.

I entered her bedroom and held her.  I asked her to forgive me and told her she was the best daughter in the whole wide world.

Then, I told her I was wrong to respond the way I did.

She needed to hear me acknowledge my behavior was wrong as much as she needed to hear me say I’m sorry.

Honestly, I don’t find it difficult admitting my weakness to my children.  I don’t want them to struggle doing the same.   I want them to find it easy to go their heavenly Father and lay down their weaknesses at His feet, so He can show Himself strong in their lives.

Motherhood is not foolproof.  Neither is life.  When we mess up, it’s essential to acknowledge it and make a mends with the person we hurt.  Even if it is your four year old little girl.

It’s not the first time I’ve had to say I was wrong.  And, it’s certain it won’t be my last. 

I’m a believer in telling our children we are wrong when we are, indeed, wrong.  As a matter of fact, I think it’s essential in raising children with a healthy understanding of humility and forgiveness.

Do you struggle saying “I was wrong” to your children?

8 Comments

Filed under Motherhood, parenting, Relationships, Virtue

Phone Calls You’re Never Quite Prepared For.

Our lives are already so full, I can hardly imagine what life will look like when our third makes his or her debut.  The school year has started off well.  I mean, reasonably well.  John Henry’s teacher let me know that he is doing well, staying on task, and working hard.  Anna has been quick to tell me she is being a princess and “didn’t spit at any of my friends.”  Um, that’s good.

I did receive a phone call, however, from her teacher yesterday informing me that she arrived at school wearing no underwear under.her.dress.  Zilch.  Nada.  At first, I blamed her father, and I assured her it wouldn’t happen again.  It was fortunate (and a relief) to hear a laugh or three out of her teacher.  So, now our morning routines will look something like this:

Lunches – check.

Backpacks – check.

Teeth brushed – check.

Vitamins – check.

Underwear – check.

I can’t tell you how many times in my life I have dreamed of showing up at school without wearing underwear.  Mortified.  Not “unbothered” by it (to quote Anna’s teacher) like my four year old.  Of course, this dream was hardly as nightmarish as the time I dreamed the Incredible Hulk was chasing me in the church parking lot. 

For real.

Sometimes, I sit back and wonder how my mother felt at times raising a daughter.  Was she horrified when I used the display toilet at Cook’s department store in my hometown?  Was she embarrassed when she carried me out of church to spank me while I yelled to the congregation “PRAY!” and held onto the sanctuary doors for dear life?

I’m gonna go out on a limb here and say yes. 

Oh, the laws of reaping and sowing. 

“When you have children yourself, you begin to understand what you owe your parents.”  — Japanese Proverb

12 Comments

Filed under Kid Stuff, Motherhood, parenting, Say What?

Lead Me To The Rock.

I don’t often stare at a blank, white screen as long as I stared at one for this post.  It was an emotional evening with my son yesterday.  This pregnancy seems to be drawing from John Henry some emotions and questions about his Daddy Bryan and me.  And, one particular issue I wasn’t prepared for.  It’s not something I feel at liberty to share just yet, but I will when the time is right.  For now, my heart is heavy, and I’m seeking God in how I respond to my sweet, tender son. 

You see, this is the beautiful part about following Christ.  Because, whenever I feel….

Helpless.

Confused.

Stranded.

In desperate need of wisdom and guidance.

I go to my Shepherd.

The Lord says, “I will guide you along the best pathway for your life.  I will advise you and watch over you.  Psalm 32:8

I go to my Counselor.

And I will ask the Father, and he will give you another Counselor to be with you forever.  John 14:16

I go to my Rock.

….when my heart is overwhelmed.  Lead me to the towering rock of safety….  Psalm 61:2

Can you imagine doing life without Him?

8 Comments

Filed under divorce, life, Motherhood, parenting, Spiritual Journey

A Broken And A Contrite Heart.

I keep getting these e-mails about potential boarding schools.  I’ve yet to classify them as spam, you know, just in case.  Oh, I would never.  I could never. 

Could I?

No.  I love this insanely unpredictable saga I live with a husband, two kids, and a dog.  And, of course, baby number three forming as I type. 

Yesterday, I told you about our latest parenting issue with little Miss Takle.  But yesterday afternoon, I encountered a discipline issue with John Henry.  And, his response broke me.

He had mistreated his sister.  It was small stuff by most people’s terms.  But, we see treating each other the way Christ wants us to treat each other as big stuff. 

I sent him to his room.  I entered knowing that he would have to be disciplined.  After it was over, he fell in my arms, and wailed, “The things I did to my sister were wrong!”  His heartfelt repentance broke him.

It broke me.

I felt tears touching my shoulders, and I’m sure he felt tears touching his.  There are times when my children tell one another they are sorry, because we force it on them.  Then, there are moments like these where they are truly broken.  They experience true repentance. 

Later that evening, John Henry asked me to tell Kris what happened. 

“You want me to tell Dad?”  I asked him.

“Yes.  I want him to know,” he responded.

He doesn’t even understand the scripture of confessing your sins to one another, but he is already practicing it.  I couldn’t help but think.  When is the last time I felt that kind of repentance in my own heart?  Where I was really broken?  Am I that broken when I talk about someone behind their back?  When I mishandle someone?  When I sin against my Father? 

Lord, create in me a new heart.  Renew a right spirit within me.

Let me come before your throne with a heart of David.  And, understand, once again, the JOY of your salvation.   

The sacrifice you desire is a broken spirit.  You will not reject a broken and repentant heart, O God.  Psalm 51:17

7 Comments

Filed under God Stuff, parenting, Virtue

She Will As Soon As She Finishes Her Puzzle.

Had I typed a single word last night, it would have simply been “nauseated.”  Just as I was beginning to get over this ugly, ugly word, it resurfaced like that bitter, old aunt who won’t go back home fast enough.  I attempt to remind myself that of the miracle growing inside of me.  But, instead, I glare at my husband, because this is clearly his fault. 

I wake up this morning, and eat a piece of toast with raspberry preserves and drink a little caffeine free coke.  I feel better.  For now.  So, perhaps, now I can write something that won’t sound so, well, bitter?  Yes.

Here is our latest issue in parenting.  It concerns our funny and determined four year old.  Surprised?  I didn’t think so.  Anna has a reason for everything.  EVERYTHING.  You can also ask her to do something, and she has her very own way of getting to the task.  For example, Kris asked her to go put her shoes on.  She first puts on her skate, because she plans to skate to her room to where her shoes are. 

I got this.

Kris didn’t.

She had a talkin’ to.

I privately explained to Kris that her intent was to skate to her room, then she’d obey his instruction.  Kris explained to me that she should obey right away without excuse or delay.

I tend to agree.  But, it sure is hard, because really?  She has some pretty valid explanations.  I mean, wouldn’t you rather skate to your room than walk like normal people?  So, Kris, er, we, have been cracking down on her delayed obedience.  He’s right in doing so.  I just get her. 

Perhaps, I see myself in her little four-year old body? 

But still.  Delayed obedience really isn’t obedience is it?  Parenting is tough.  Especially when those funny girls are just so dang cute.

You can relate, yes?

9 Comments

Filed under parenting

We ARE The Church.

This weekend, Pastor Craig Groeschel explained that Christ-followers looking to the church to meet all of their needs is bad theology.  This wasn’t the first time I’ve heard this said, and I’ve always agreed with the statement.  But, God decided to mess me up with it about 2:00 am Sunday morning.  Not sure why we couldn’t talk at a more decent hour, but I’m not one for arguing with the giver of life.  At least, not on Sunday. 

At first, these thoughts started sweeping through my mind:

When did we become such consumers in our faith that we sit on the edges of our seats waiting for that one song to make us engage in worshipping our Creator?  Or that one message that would solidify our spiritual journey or give us that tingling feeling to make us go home feeling good about ourselves? 

As if the transforming power of “For God so loved the world that He gave” isn’t enough? 

I do not take for granted creative ways for reaching lost people.  I believe using whatever means we have to lead people to Christ.  And, while we as Christ-followers enjoy the media driven, smoke and lights presentation, it’s not really for us.

The church is not here for us.  We are the church.  And, we exist for the world.

After I began to process all of these thoughts, God began to talk to me about how I parent my children.  I love giving to my children.  I will continue to give to my children.  But not at the cost of them translating those gifts – or their needs being met – to how they view the church.  God showed me to instruct and inspire my children so they understand that THEY are the church.  THEY exist for the world.  So, I’m praying God will put before us opportunities where we can be just that.  The Church.  And, I know those opportunities are many. 

I don’t want to just go through the motions of life.  I don’t want my children to fail to recognize who they are.  The bride of Christ. 

Pastor Bill Hybels says, “the church is the hope of the world.”

I could not agree more.

6 Comments

Filed under giving, God Stuff, making an impact, parenting

Finding New Ways To Connect.

I’m learning that how I connect with my children changes from year to year.  I used to always be able to connect with John Henry by simply snuggling with him on the sofa in front of a movie. 

Snuggling just isn’t cool.  Not always. 

When I read John Eldredge’s Wild At Heart almost seven years ago, I knew this day would come.  I knew one day, I would have to modify the way I nurture my son.  Because, he is a future warrior.  And, I want him to be comfortable being the man God created him to be.  So, I’ve had to find new ways to connect with him.

Here is one.

JH - Mom

Nothing says love like a fight with super soakers.

Especially for a six-year old boy.

JH - Mom 2

I’m pretty sure I won this round.  And, he can’t wait for a re-match. 

It’s my prayer that if I engage in things with him that he loves….in activities that make him feel good about being a young man, he will be comfortable sharing his heart. 

And, I want his heart more than I want his obedience.  Because, when I capture his heart, obedience simply follows. 

I am not a perfect mother to my son.  I fail often.  I think I probably fail far too often.  But, I don’t want to.  I want to take the time to put down my insignificant distractions and get soaked outside with my beautiful, blue-eyed boy.  God has entrusted me with John Henry.  And, I love him so, so very much.

What is one way you connect with your kids?

13 Comments

Filed under Kid Stuff, Motherhood, parenting, Uncategorized